I Don't Need This

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Bree, Jul 14, 2019.

  1. Bree

    Bree Registered User

    Oct 16, 2013
    223
    MOH is currently in hospital awaiting his discharge home, with the necessary equipment needed for his care to be provided. He is very frail now, very confused, in poor health in general. He is no longer able to even sit out in a chair, as it exhausts him. The staff and I are in agreement over this. He is also refusing food, and takes very little fluid.

    Last evening at around 7.45 I received a phone call from the hospital to say that he was going to be sent back to A & E for assessment, as he has raised levels of calcium in his blood. We and our doctors are aware that this occurs from time to time, he was diagnosed about six years ago with Paget's Disease, he has seen a consultant who has prescribed medication for this condition.

    He's 83 years old, and as I have described very frail, needless to say I didn't sleep last night, when I rang to see how he was, they told me that he had been admitted to A & E at about 6 am today. I told them that I thought it was very unfair of the doctor to send an elderly man in his condition in the early hours of the morning into A & E on probably the worst night to be in A & E, (Saturday) with a condition we are already aware of. I have to ring back in around half an hour to see what the doctors have decided, but I told them that if he was going to be admitted back to the main hospital again, this being the 8th hospital move in two and a half months, I would rather he be discharged back home now. I have his carer in place, ok the hospital bed isn't here yet, but as he is more or less bed bound, I'm sure we can manage with our own bed for a few days.

    I am so upset that he's being moved around like this, poor man, all this is making his confusion worse, and he's losing the will to live I think. He did say to me that he didn't want to live like this.
     
  2. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,469
    Ireland
    No advice, but I'm so sorry for both of you, that you have to go through this at this stage.
     
  3. Andrew_McP

    Andrew_McP Registered User

    Mar 2, 2016
    140
    Male
    South Northwest
    I'm far from an expert, but given what we hear about the stretched NHS, added to the fact that weekend staffing has always been stretched thin, if I was a junior night doctor in charge of several wards with complex cases to monitor, I'd probably be inclined to refer people to A&E (where there will probably be a consultant of some description working) rather than risk missing something important. (And if I was a word doctor I'd refer that run-on sentence to A&E immediately!)

    I doubt that's how it's supposed to work, and I may be way off the mark, but in your position I'd try to be reassured that they were trying to keep your loved one as safe as possible under potentially tricky circumstances. However I absolutely understand how disorientating and counterproductive hospitals can be for dementia patients. I've managed to keep my mother away from hospital for quite a while, but in the early days she had quite a few complicated stays which gave me no confidence whatsoever in their ability to cope with complex dementia needs.

    Hopefully they're trying a bit harder where you are, even if it seems different.
     
  4. Bree

    Bree Registered User

    Oct 16, 2013
    223
    Yes thank you both.

    I have to admit being stressed about the whole thing this morning, probably due to having no sleep with worry. I also have to admit that our A & E staff are admirable, and couldn't do enough for MOH today. We are so lucky.

    We had a wonderful doctor, who went through everything with me, and then decided that it was the medication he was on that had caused this. He has stopped it, and given MOH IV treatment. He is returning to the hospital he left this morning around 4.30 pm. So all good.

    Now it's down to me to ring around tomorrow and chase up the 'hospital at home'. A DNR form was also discussed, which hasn't been mentioned before, but I have discussed this with our children, which has made it a lot easier for me to make a decision.
     

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