I don't like you!
- Thread starter Batsue
- Start date
Hi look in the members section under poems. it's called when you visit. I don't think any of us are prepared for the changes we see in our loved ones. It's mainly depicted as memory loss in the media and it seems the truth is just swept under the carpet xx
When she was in hospital,with a broken hip, my mother (early 90s then) frequently told the nurses that she was going to tell her father of them, and he'd have them all put in prison.
At one point one of the nurses replied, 'Well, I'VE spoken to your father, and HE says you've got to eat your lunch.'
I've just returned from a half hour dog walk to be greeted by mum saying that I am a nasty person for leaving her all alone (my OH was upstairs watching the football). When I said that she was not alone in the house she started shouting at me and saying that she always comes for a walk (she has not come with me for a long time by her choice). I left her in the sun room ranting and am sitting in the kitchen with the dog.
Crumbs, look please start to document this kind of thing. This is not acceptable, dementia or no dementia. One of saddest things along this line I heard was from a social worker who said her mother with dementia used to prod her awake with a stick when she (social worker) was asleep with exhaustion ... Gxx
Mum is going into respite for a week on Sunday. I am certainly ready for the break! Today has been ok with no outbursts. It is just very draining. I was trying to persuade Mum to go to bed earlier but she started talking to the cushion next to her as though it was my Dad who passed away over 6 years ago. She said he didn’t want to go to bed so they were staying put! I left her for half an hour then tried again with the help of my OH and managed to get her up to bed. A bit of relaxation time at last until she decides to get up in the middle of the night!
I feel we are in quite a similar situation. In fact I think we are in quite the minority having a parent with dementia living with us. It is certainly one of the most challenging situations I have ever found myself in. My Mum always said she did not want to live in a care home and I am trying my hardest to give her this wish. I also feel that the 1 to 1 care I can give is something she wouldn’t get if she was in care. It’s so hard sometimes though and I end up wondering how much more I can take. My OH deserves a medal too!
Without my OH I could not do it, he even cleans her bedroom and en-suite while I take mum out as she won't let me do it and sometimes that is not a pleasant job.
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Well not a good day, mum started off by blocking her toilet with a tena pad and instead of calling for help she managed to push it further in then kept flushing until it overflowed, she then followed it up by breaking the flush button on the systern. OH managed to fix it and I took mum out to Inverness to go to the hairdressers, she was everyone's idea of a sweet old lady whilst having her hair done but soon reverted to her normal stroppy self once we had left. When we got home mum went into her toilet and kept pushing the flush button and then managed to loosen it so OH had to do another repair, this is the 4th time in a year that mum has blocked either the toilet or the outlet to our septic tank, I am not sure what would happen if she managed to block the whole system again, last time it cost about £750 to have it sorted out and we can't keep doing that.
I hope today has been a better day for you! Mine hasn’t been too bad. My Mum has gone from continually asking for her Mum and Dad to talking to my Dad all the time (even though he has passed away). It is strange that she seemed to go back in time to when she was a young girl but has now come forward again to when she was married. The problem is she refuses to go to bed without my Dad. I find myself making up the most bizarre stories to try and get her to cooperate!
It has been quite peaceful here today, I agree with you about the bizarre stories, sometimes it really stretches your imaination.
