I dont like this me

[Morriswife]

My mother in law has dementia and im at a loss how to respond when she says "I dont like this me". She says it a lot weve tried distracting reassuring and ignoring. Any other suggestions?

 

[cold June]

My mother in law has dementia and im at a loss how to respond when she says "I dont like this me". She says it a lot weve tried distracting reassuring and ignoring. Any other suggestions?

My wife has the same thoughts and what ever you say does not convince her but I tell her I understand why she feels like this but it is only her who thinks that no one else does and she is still the same person to me and that I still love her and not to worry. Sometime it works but unfortunately I know she will say the same thing later or the next day.

 

[Bunpoots]

Hi @Morriswife

That sounds like a difficult thing to respond to. Have you worked out what makes her say “I don’t like me”? Is it when she’s frustrated because she can’t do something, or she’s upset, or does it just come out of the blue? If you feel able to give a little more detail we may be able to offer better suggestions.

You sound as though you’re doing ok with distraction and reassurance. I used to make my dad laugh when he was upset with himself - fortunately he had the same silly sense of humour as me!

 

[Morriswife]

My wife has the same thoughts and what ever you say does not convince her but I tell her I understand why she feels like this but it is only her who thinks that no one else does and she is still the same person to me and that I still love her and not to worry. Sometime it works but unfortunately I know she will say the same thing later or the next day.

That's a great suggestion thankyou I'll give it a whirl ?

 

[Morriswife]

Hi @Morriswife

That sounds like a difficult thing to respond to. Have you worked out what makes her say “I don’t like me”? Is it when she’s frustrated because she can’t do something, or she’s upset, or does it just come out of the blue? If you feel able to give a little more detail we may be able to offer better suggestions.

You sound as though you’re doing ok with distraction and reassurance. I used to make my dad laugh when he was upset with himself - fortunately he had the same silly sense of humour as me!

She knows she can't remember and puts herself under pressure to remember for example where she lives now - we show her photos and have even set up cctv in her house so she can see the inside from the viewpoint of where she sits in her room. She lives in kent and is currently staying with us in Yorkshire but wanting to return home. That's just one example.
Laughter is a great strategy and one I often use with her - thankyou ?

 

[Cat27]

My wife has the same thoughts and what ever you say does not convince her but I tell her I understand why she feels like this but it is only her who thinks that no one else does and she is still the same person to me and that I still love her and not to worry. Sometime it works but unfortunately I know she will say the same thing later or the next day.

Welcome to TP @cold June