Evening TP friends,
It's been a while since I posted on here - not really got much to say, just 'getting on with things' as we all do.
But over this week (half term, so a bit of time to breathe) I've begun asking myself a few questions:
What does dad do when I'm not there?
Is he ok on his own?
What options do I have if I'm concerned?
I don't know where to turn for advice on these questions. We started the whole 'official' stuff back in February this year and other than a diagnosis in June and 'phone call from AS in August, I'm still waiting for any kind of response, help or advice from SS. Filled in a form and then, well, nothing. Just got told about their 'huge backlog'.
I'm basically at the point now where my day starts at 5am with work, then dads for breakfast, then school run, then back to dads for an hour to be with him, then home for an hour to do housework, then work for a couple of hours, then back to dads, then school run, back to dads for an hour before tea, home for tea, son to bed, housework, bed around 10pm. Some days when my husband is working away I just stay at dads as it's easiest for me that way. I'm finding it pretty exhausting but it's now a routine.
My concern is that dad isn't coping well in some ways. He eats, sleeps, cleans (both himself and the house!) and the dvla says he can drive. BUT he seems to spend most of his time I'm away from him coming to and from our homes. I watch him pull up outside and often just look and drive away. I call his house ten minutes later 'I thought you weren't in, the place looked deserted' he always says. It's like he has no concept that he only saw me 20 minutes ago. If he has something he wants to tell me he jumps in his car and drives over. I can only assume he does the same while I'm at work too.
He's also obsessed with applying for a bus pass. Sometimes I manage to intervene and tell him 'I'll sort this for you' but I know at least two have got through as he now has a replacement to an original. He doesn't use buses and if you ask him, he doesn't think he's got a bus pass. And then tries to apply for another. We've discussed not doing any official papers without me to no avail............
Should this concern me? I'm worried about his obvious confusion over where I am. What can I do? Do I need to be with him more? Does he need 'more'? Perhaps I need to get someone in for a couple of hours a day (we have no other family)? I've tried to convince him to get a whiteboard in his kitchen for me to write on each morning to help but he seems very reluctant to use any aids at all. We currently have changed nothing since his diagnosis and I have had numerous conversations with him suggesting we need to put some things in place to help but still no luck. I wish he wasn't on his own, but I need to work nor does he want to live with us (his is too small for us to move in). I don't know what to do for the best.
Crikey this is a long post! Got a lot going around my head at the moment. So much so I just want to sit on the sofa and do nothing!!!!!
x
It's been a while since I posted on here - not really got much to say, just 'getting on with things' as we all do.
But over this week (half term, so a bit of time to breathe) I've begun asking myself a few questions:
What does dad do when I'm not there?
Is he ok on his own?
What options do I have if I'm concerned?
I don't know where to turn for advice on these questions. We started the whole 'official' stuff back in February this year and other than a diagnosis in June and 'phone call from AS in August, I'm still waiting for any kind of response, help or advice from SS. Filled in a form and then, well, nothing. Just got told about their 'huge backlog'.
I'm basically at the point now where my day starts at 5am with work, then dads for breakfast, then school run, then back to dads for an hour to be with him, then home for an hour to do housework, then work for a couple of hours, then back to dads, then school run, back to dads for an hour before tea, home for tea, son to bed, housework, bed around 10pm. Some days when my husband is working away I just stay at dads as it's easiest for me that way. I'm finding it pretty exhausting but it's now a routine.
My concern is that dad isn't coping well in some ways. He eats, sleeps, cleans (both himself and the house!) and the dvla says he can drive. BUT he seems to spend most of his time I'm away from him coming to and from our homes. I watch him pull up outside and often just look and drive away. I call his house ten minutes later 'I thought you weren't in, the place looked deserted' he always says. It's like he has no concept that he only saw me 20 minutes ago. If he has something he wants to tell me he jumps in his car and drives over. I can only assume he does the same while I'm at work too.
He's also obsessed with applying for a bus pass. Sometimes I manage to intervene and tell him 'I'll sort this for you' but I know at least two have got through as he now has a replacement to an original. He doesn't use buses and if you ask him, he doesn't think he's got a bus pass. And then tries to apply for another. We've discussed not doing any official papers without me to no avail............
Should this concern me? I'm worried about his obvious confusion over where I am. What can I do? Do I need to be with him more? Does he need 'more'? Perhaps I need to get someone in for a couple of hours a day (we have no other family)? I've tried to convince him to get a whiteboard in his kitchen for me to write on each morning to help but he seems very reluctant to use any aids at all. We currently have changed nothing since his diagnosis and I have had numerous conversations with him suggesting we need to put some things in place to help but still no luck. I wish he wasn't on his own, but I need to work nor does he want to live with us (his is too small for us to move in). I don't know what to do for the best.
Crikey this is a long post! Got a lot going around my head at the moment. So much so I just want to sit on the sofa and do nothing!!!!!
x