Background of Dad so far...
Late 2011: Still living at home; not washing, hoarding, cutting up clothes, hallucinating, wandering etc.
early 2012: Refuses any help from carers, won't take medication, usually out when they arrive. Threatens neighbour with violence. Makes large hole in back door to gain entry, even though all doors unlocked. Ruins all electrical equipment. Barely eats. Wanders day and night, gets lost.
July 2012: Is 'taken out for a drive' by member of CMHT, to be taken to CH for respite. I move him to a nicer CH 4 days later. He never mentions his home again. Settles well and seems calmer.
September - December 2012: Punches a carer and a resident. Picks up chairs and throws across lounge. Thinks he is at work and his 'team' aren't doing as they are told. Is put on Risperidone but no change. This is increased - still no change. Appears mainly calm but just flies off the handle without warning. Attempts to strangle female resident.
Jan - April 2013: Is taken to an assessment unit. Risperidone increased. Head droops down, starts drooling, very restless and wanders constantly. Shifts between depression and tearfulness to mania and laughing. Doesn't sleep. Now doubly incontinent. Resists personal care. Taken off Risperidone. Told to find him a NH as being discharged. Struggle to find one that'll take him. Find one that claims to manage 'challenging behaviour'.
April- August 2013: Moves in to NH. I discover the NH manager lied about bed availability. Not 3, but 15! Other issues with the NH come to light.
Dad remains resistant to personal care - can take up to 3 carers. Medication mainly given covertly as often refuses. Still thinks he is working and 'his staff' not co-operating. Is put on Quietipine - no change. Dose increased - no change. Barely sleeps. Wanders constantly, often into residents rooms, where he picks up their objects and drops them on the floor. The carers are scared of him, so understandably back off and leave him if he objects to them doing anything.
The past month:
I have noticed a further decline in my dad. Any emotion he previously showed to family has gone. I don't think he knows us now. As I posted in my previous thread.. 10 days ago he punched a female resident in the face. She was punched to the floor. The manager said " I decided not to take her to hospital, because once the bleeding had stopped she seemed fine". Eh?! She told me the lady didn't have any family but they would be informing her SW. The next day I phoned SS safeguarding team. The NH had failed to report this incident. It also appears that the NH have failed to report to the lady's SW, but they are still looking into this. I expressed my concerns that the NH are 'covering up'. He agreed.
I have been chasing the CMHT asking when someone will attend the NH to review my dad. The clinical psychologist left a message on my land-line saying she will attend either this week or next. Really? That quick! So, since this incident, no-one has been to see him expect me!
I went to see him yesterday. I struggled to sit near him. The smell caused by the lack of hygiene was over-bearing. His breath was foul and his teeth filthy. He had faeces under his long nails. His creased shirt had dried food stains down the front. He resembled a filthy old tramp. (I have spoken to the manager about these issues over and over. At times he has looked a bit cleaner, but this has declined rapidly in the past few weeks)
He was trying to move my chair ( with me sat on it) because he could 'see' it wasn't level. It was sinking in to the floor! He spoke of shouting and swearing at his 'team' because they just won't do what he tells them. He was mildly manic. I couldn't stay - it was just too much. I spoke to the Duty Nurse who said they were going to attempt to get him showered in the afternoon. They have to find a time where he will be more receptive. She said they try to get him showered once a week! They can't manage him, that's obvious. I just wish they would be honest about it. I feel they are constantly trying to prove a point; that they can manage, and if they are not seen to be, it's deemed to be a failure on their part. They are always on the defensive, even though I have never accused. I raise concerns and express that I appreciate how difficult he is to manage. It's so frustrating.
The SW has advised me to find him another home. Who is going to take him in this state and cope with him any better? How am I supposed to find the right place? No-one seems to be able to suggest where. I'm in despair! I need help for my dad and support for me. Both are seriously lacking. I'm usually able to stay strong, but I'm currently crumbling.
Late 2011: Still living at home; not washing, hoarding, cutting up clothes, hallucinating, wandering etc.
early 2012: Refuses any help from carers, won't take medication, usually out when they arrive. Threatens neighbour with violence. Makes large hole in back door to gain entry, even though all doors unlocked. Ruins all electrical equipment. Barely eats. Wanders day and night, gets lost.
July 2012: Is 'taken out for a drive' by member of CMHT, to be taken to CH for respite. I move him to a nicer CH 4 days later. He never mentions his home again. Settles well and seems calmer.
September - December 2012: Punches a carer and a resident. Picks up chairs and throws across lounge. Thinks he is at work and his 'team' aren't doing as they are told. Is put on Risperidone but no change. This is increased - still no change. Appears mainly calm but just flies off the handle without warning. Attempts to strangle female resident.
Jan - April 2013: Is taken to an assessment unit. Risperidone increased. Head droops down, starts drooling, very restless and wanders constantly. Shifts between depression and tearfulness to mania and laughing. Doesn't sleep. Now doubly incontinent. Resists personal care. Taken off Risperidone. Told to find him a NH as being discharged. Struggle to find one that'll take him. Find one that claims to manage 'challenging behaviour'.
April- August 2013: Moves in to NH. I discover the NH manager lied about bed availability. Not 3, but 15! Other issues with the NH come to light.
Dad remains resistant to personal care - can take up to 3 carers. Medication mainly given covertly as often refuses. Still thinks he is working and 'his staff' not co-operating. Is put on Quietipine - no change. Dose increased - no change. Barely sleeps. Wanders constantly, often into residents rooms, where he picks up their objects and drops them on the floor. The carers are scared of him, so understandably back off and leave him if he objects to them doing anything.
The past month:
I have noticed a further decline in my dad. Any emotion he previously showed to family has gone. I don't think he knows us now. As I posted in my previous thread.. 10 days ago he punched a female resident in the face. She was punched to the floor. The manager said " I decided not to take her to hospital, because once the bleeding had stopped she seemed fine". Eh?! She told me the lady didn't have any family but they would be informing her SW. The next day I phoned SS safeguarding team. The NH had failed to report this incident. It also appears that the NH have failed to report to the lady's SW, but they are still looking into this. I expressed my concerns that the NH are 'covering up'. He agreed.
I have been chasing the CMHT asking when someone will attend the NH to review my dad. The clinical psychologist left a message on my land-line saying she will attend either this week or next. Really? That quick! So, since this incident, no-one has been to see him expect me!
I went to see him yesterday. I struggled to sit near him. The smell caused by the lack of hygiene was over-bearing. His breath was foul and his teeth filthy. He had faeces under his long nails. His creased shirt had dried food stains down the front. He resembled a filthy old tramp. (I have spoken to the manager about these issues over and over. At times he has looked a bit cleaner, but this has declined rapidly in the past few weeks)
He was trying to move my chair ( with me sat on it) because he could 'see' it wasn't level. It was sinking in to the floor! He spoke of shouting and swearing at his 'team' because they just won't do what he tells them. He was mildly manic. I couldn't stay - it was just too much. I spoke to the Duty Nurse who said they were going to attempt to get him showered in the afternoon. They have to find a time where he will be more receptive. She said they try to get him showered once a week! They can't manage him, that's obvious. I just wish they would be honest about it. I feel they are constantly trying to prove a point; that they can manage, and if they are not seen to be, it's deemed to be a failure on their part. They are always on the defensive, even though I have never accused. I raise concerns and express that I appreciate how difficult he is to manage. It's so frustrating.
The SW has advised me to find him another home. Who is going to take him in this state and cope with him any better? How am I supposed to find the right place? No-one seems to be able to suggest where. I'm in despair! I need help for my dad and support for me. Both are seriously lacking. I'm usually able to stay strong, but I'm currently crumbling.
