I don't know anymore whether I'm upset or angry

[mojobrad]

My mum lives at home with my dad. She has CHC for her dementia. It took and unbelievable effort to convince my dad into allowing my mum to go into respite so that he could have a holiday. Last night my mum fractured her hip in the respite care home :-( They don't know how this happened at the moment. I don't know either because they only accepted her if the NHS paid for 1:1 care for her.

She is now in a hospital A&E department waiting for surgery :-(

I don't live local to my parents. My dad is away on his respite break. Really this was supposed to be my respite break too.

 

[2jays]

Oh you poor thing xxxx of course I can can imagine you are both seething angry and very worried.

First things first. Make sure mum is ok and safe in hospital. Demand that she has 1:1 whilst there. They may tell you it's not possible, but it is - I managed to get them to give 1:1 for my mum when she was in hospital after complaining to everyone. There May/should be a dementia specialist person at the hospital who may be able to help.

What happend at the care home can be sorted/dealt with later

If possible, may be not tell your dad too soon. He needs his time off..... But of course you know what's best to do... If you don't tell him until a bit later, he may be angry/upset with you, but at least he will have had some time to recharge his batteries xxxxx


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[stanleypj]

A dreadful situation after you'd made every effort to see that she was properly cared for. It's the kind of thing that makes people wary about leaving someone in someone else's care in order to have respite.

 

[Beate]

Tell me about it. A few months ago I put OH into respite for a week for the first time ever. He promptly caught a sickness bug and had to be taken to hospital in the middle of the night, while I was on a carers retreat in the middle of nowhere, worried sick. Had to rush back and spend hours in hospital to make sure he was treated right instead of getting the rest I needed.

 

[mojobrad]

I've spent almost all day dealing with my mum.

Today she had her hip replaced because the consultant said her hip wouldn't heal.

I spent some time with the respite care home trying to work out how this happened. There's also Safeguarding to get though now as well.