Five years ago when we first realised mum had dementia our world fell apart. Since then, the trauma and heartache of managing that condition became all consuming. We were so fearful of what the future would bring for mum but also would my brother or I get it in years to come? Yes we have had terrible times..too many and upsetting to document but now mum is reasonably settled in a care home close by and as happy as she can be. The reason for this thread as I said is that I no longer have that terrible fear anymore if it happens to me. I worry the effect on my family but not for myself. I have insisted that they put me into a care home as soon as possible to save them the heartache we went through, trying to cope with mum at home. To put this into context we have also looked after a very independent but lonely elderly man who until March this year lived at home on his own since his wife died in 2000. He is now 104 ! He still has full mental faculties and until two years ago even did all his housework himself. After a fall last xmas he had carers go in twice a day. They lasted two weeks till he said he didn't need /want them. He had another bad fall in march and since then his physical health has plummeted and now is completely bedridden and recently now in a care home too. He desperately wants to get up and get out and about (as he previously did daily ) but without a hoist and wheelchair he is now helpless. Mentally he cannot cope with knowing that this is his lot and just existing not living (his words). Maybe dementia where you don't realise what has happened to you is better than what our poor friend is having to deal with, as he faces the latter stages of his life but still understanding everything that is happening to him.