You all have so much understanding, and for this I thank you.
This episode has been ongoing since last evening, with one or two short breaks when we were `together`.
We ate dinner in silence.
Then he phoned his one remaining friend in Manchester. Such animated chat. I thought `thank goodness.`
When the call ended, I gave him a few seconds, then went and asked him what they`d chatted about.
The shutters came down. `Nothing much`, he answered.
I distanced myself.
He came to me and asked,
`Can you look in the phone book, when you have time, and look up Jamui. [Jamui is his home village in India, last seen by him 52 years ago]
S `I can`t use the phone book, it`s only for Cantrbury`.
D `Well can you find my phone number in Jamui`.
S `What`s the address?`
D `I don`t know`.
S `Well I can`t find the number if you don`t know the address.`
D `Paul will know. Ask him.`
S `Paul is our son, he knows nothing about Jamui`.
D stormed out of the room.
S, feeling sorry for him ,` Do you think we could both go together to India to try to find your family.`
D `What makes you think I need your help`.
S `You sounded so happy talking to L..., I thought were feeling better now`.
D, hitting the roof, `You`ve no idea how I feel`. and stormed out.
So Bruce, in answer to your question, the only way I can handle this situation is to distance myself. If there are any better ways, I`ll welcome them with open arms.
Also I remember when my mother went into the home, the problems went with her. I visited regularly and often, but as you said, could walk away when it got too much.
Another whole day wasted.