For 5 and a half months all I have tried to do is ensure my husband becomes as fit as he can possibly be. Since his spine collapsed necessitating the surgery and other medical procedures, my life has focussed solely on his getting physically well. The diagnosis of AD was devastating but still I have only thought about making sure he puts on weight etc..
This morning my life seemed to go awry. During the week I am at work or visiting the hospital or doing washing and ironing. My life is, therefore, focussed and highly organised. But Sundays are different and always were. On Sundays my husband and I would sit and do the cryptic crosswords and basically chill out. This morning I was sitting doing the end of month bills and making sure that I put money into various savings accounts for our retirement. And then it hit me. No cryptic crosswords, no chill out and what the heck was I doing tinkering about with savings accounts now for?! Would we ever get to go to the allotment -another thing for our retirement? And then this overwhelming feeling of sadness washed over and I felt sorry for me and for the retirement we wont have as we had planned. Sadness for me?!!!!! What the heck was I doing feeling sorry for me. And then the guilt of feeling that made things worse. So Grannie G - your kinds thoughts on me coping so well and your admiration will have disappeared somewhat I think.
love from Sammyb
This morning my life seemed to go awry. During the week I am at work or visiting the hospital or doing washing and ironing. My life is, therefore, focussed and highly organised. But Sundays are different and always were. On Sundays my husband and I would sit and do the cryptic crosswords and basically chill out. This morning I was sitting doing the end of month bills and making sure that I put money into various savings accounts for our retirement. And then it hit me. No cryptic crosswords, no chill out and what the heck was I doing tinkering about with savings accounts now for?! Would we ever get to go to the allotment -another thing for our retirement? And then this overwhelming feeling of sadness washed over and I felt sorry for me and for the retirement we wont have as we had planned. Sadness for me?!!!!! What the heck was I doing feeling sorry for me. And then the guilt of feeling that made things worse. So Grannie G - your kinds thoughts on me coping so well and your admiration will have disappeared somewhat I think.
love from Sammyb