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I care for someone with dementia


New member
Mar 10, 2022
I need advise please. The lady I care for has onset Alzheimers. I noticed that her mood switches in the afternoon/evening don't know whether she is sundowning. She wants me to sit with her all the time and I have made sure I have 1 hour in the afternoon from her and sit somewhere else. Whenever I come back to the room after this she is nasty. I'm beginning to feel very stressed with this situation.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello @bigheart305 Welcome.

It does sound as if the lady you are caring for is sundowning.

She probably wants you to sit with her all the time because she is not sure where you are or if you will come back. I can only suggest late afternoon/ early evening is not the best time to leave her alone. It will be when she is at her most vulnerable.

The nastiness is the only way she can let you know how insecure she is feeling so she `tells you off`.

I hope you are not her only carer caring full time. You do need a break during the time you are with her if it`s a full day and could do with someone else to share the shifts.

Are you employed by an agency or by this lady?

Violet Jane

Registered User
Aug 23, 2021
If you are in the UK and you are a live-in carer employed by an agency then it is standard practice for the carer to have a two hour break each day. Realistically, you are unlikely to have a proper break if you remain in the house unless there is a second carer who comes to look after your client during your breaks. You need to speak to the agency or person who employs / engages you as this situation is not sustainable.