Hello Mumov4,
I care for my mum who has AZ. I can honestly say that for several months, each and every day, my mum accused me of stealing from her. It ranged from small things like tea towels to larger items like her car (selling it to our friends and not giving her the money) to pieces of furniture.
She had happily sold the car and then pieces of furniture (when she came to live with us and no longer needed them) but cannot remember the events of three years ago. Nevertheless she was (and still is sometimes) adamant that I am a wicked thief of a daughter telling her lies.
I have tried to explain - but that approach is hopeless and just fuels her fire, and makes me very anxious, upset and yes, angry - not at her but at her alzheimer's brain that has taken over rational thought. Now I try to recognise when her thought patterns are heading in the "YOU ARE A THIEF!!!!" direction and either deflect or walk away, on a task outside her presence and hope that the cloud blows over by the time I return.
You have a great deal on your plate, I have a hubby & 2 teenage children so I have support - you need help now. Please do contact your local authority and see if carer visits can be arranged - use phrases like "she is a vulnerable adult" "I feel that I am being overwhelmed".
I found my local doctor (and the surgery nurse) a great support and they did help getting the practical help in place - do try this.
You are not alone - far from it.
Do let us know how you get on.
- Twiddler x