I care for mum and dad both with dementia

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Jaff, Mar 28, 2016.

  1. grove

    grove Registered User

    Aug 24, 2010
    7,724
    North Yorkshire
    Morning


    Jaff BIG HUGS too you & am sorry about your Brother's Inquest :( being held up not good for you Hope it gets started very soon


    Do you think you are emotionally drained ? :( E G having a lot too cope with both Parent's etc on your own & it sounds like too me you do not have any Care Support for YOU ? Every carer needs support for a proper talk & or a shoulder too cry on & can understand why you are still upset :( Think it is normal in your circumstances Jaff



    Take care . thinking of you today & hope tomorrow is a better day for you


    Love & Hugs


    Grove x x


    P S > Will post again with some Carer Support Phone Numbers that might help you Jaff All Carer's need too look after their own Well being x
     
  2. grove

    grove Registered User

    Aug 24, 2010
    7,724
    North Yorkshire
    Carer Support Phone Numbers

    Hi Jaff , As promised some help line Numbers that you might find helpful Please read below :



    Altz Society > 03000----222--1122


    Open > Week days only = 9.00 > 5.00 pm


    Weekends Only Open > 10.00 ------ 4.00



    Plus


    Carers Uk > A national Charity that supports all Carers


    Listening Ear Service = You can speak too a trained Volunteer where you can explain your caring role & how it effects you ( similar too what you have posted here in the last 24 hours )


    Phone number = 0808----808----7777


    Free :) Calls from most big M Phone networks ! E G Orange , EE , O2 etc


    They are open Mondays & Tuesdays > 9.00---------7.00


    They also have a normal Advice line about any Care Subject eg How too claim AA Benefit's etc , etc ( same phone number as above )

    Office hours 9.00 ----------- 5.00 ?


    Hope that helps :)


    Hugs


    Grove x x
     
  3. Jaff

    Jaff Registered User

    Mar 28, 2016
    95
    Thank you grove.will ring when I get a chance. S. W. Rang today to say mums new provider will start her care package on Tuesday.... .. she did moan. Because I was not staying all day...... have told her since my brother died. I can not do that anymore.... have to go and see dad........ she was okish... after I said that.... dad confused today.... lol the home is giving everyone a chippy tea tomorrow..... I am a fraid that when it's pureed.. dad will not take it.... brought in some salmon.. (without bones and skinless). He took a few mouthfuls. Wanted his banana.. and coke.... ( with thicker in).. all the home given for his lunch is soup.. does not fill beaker. He drank half.... now asleep
     
  4. grove

    grove Registered User

    Aug 24, 2010
    7,724
    North Yorkshire

    Good luck Jaff with the Phone Call and hope it helps. :). ( did you read my first Post ? Before the Phone numbers etc ? Hope you did)

    Sorry it is getting late so do not have time too reply probably too your. Post. How ever am a bit :mad: and cross your poor Dad was only given half a Cup of Soup. ! ! Awful. ! ~ Why I telling you this is I am a qualified. Kitchen Assit in a. N Home for Residents who live with Dementia. & one of my important jobs is too serve the. Tea. And had I only served half a cup of Soup would have been told off by the Head Chef ! As quite a few of the Residents needed too gain weight etc. So if I was in your position Jaff I would ask Senior. Staff at the N H why your Dad was only given half a Cup of. Soup. Every Resident should be allowed proper portions etc ( unless there is a good medical reason etc why they are not plus it should be In. Their Care Plan ). Good luck !

    Pleased your Mum has new. Care package etc starting soon Good luck with that. Hope it goes okay

    Take care

    Hugs.


    Grove. X x
     
  5. grove

    grove Registered User

    Aug 24, 2010
    7,724
    North Yorkshire
    Hello

    Jaff **Just Popping* in too see HOW YOU ARE ? hope you feel less tired & have had time just for your self today ?



    Still thinking of you all


    Hope the SALT Team hurry up for your Dad & Good Luck for your Mum's new Care Plan etc ( help at home )


    Love & Hugs


    Grove x x
     
  6. Jaff

    Jaff Registered User

    Mar 28, 2016
    95
    Hi grove. Thanks for popping in
    ... lol..... have slept most of the day. Still feel strange.... going to rest tomorrow as well..... no news. But many thanks for saying hello. So here is a big hug from me.... thank you xxxx
     
  7. Dave66

    Dave66 Registered User

    Sep 13, 2014
    78
    #127 Dave66, Jun 19, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2016
    Hi Jaff

    Jaff, your brother will be extremely pleased and proud of what you have been doing and continue to do under very difficult and trying circumstances.

    Re reading your story, I really am inspired by you and what you do on a daily basis for your parents.

    I do feel though Jaff that you need to get some Carers support ASAP for yourself.
    This may have been asked previously, but have you had a Carers Assessment?
    I know you have a lot to do every day for your Mum & Dad, but if you haven't had one, you really should make the time to get an appointment for an assessment, especially now your Mum is back home.

    There are plenty of groups/organisations out there that can help you with all that you have to face on a daily basis, you do not have to do this on your own. Is there an Admiral Nurse in your area?

    I hope you continue to get some rest and recharge your mental and physical batteries. Are you eating properly? You must do, you surely need the energy Jaff.

    Good luck and a BIG hug is heading your way.
     
  8. HillyBilly

    HillyBilly Registered User

    Dec 21, 2015
    1,948
    Ireland
    What Dave66 said.
    Keep strong Jaff, you're doing amazing things x
     
  9. Jaff

    Jaff Registered User

    Mar 28, 2016
    95
    Hi went to see dad only today... with it being fathers day...... and spent some time with him...... he is so happy at the moment..... I hope you have my banana.. he says..... lol they don't feed me here........yes they do it just dad. Does not like this pureed food........ I can not believe the turn around this week in him. Watching t. V.... and comments what he can see..... as dad deaf.. he was torpedoed in the war.... and only has one ear. That works.
    .. again he asks about my brother. How is he. When can I see him...
    Originally my brother went in to sort out his fingers. I tell dad that my brother. At home and that he had to resting after the op.......... help......
    What esle can I say....... then i very quickly change the subject....... with a great big lump in my throat.... trying not to cry in front of him....
    . He was in pain today so went to see nurse... to find out he would not take the pain killers.... tablet form...... so I say please try liquid.... that what they did at the hospital.......... I am going now and try to have some sleep now... if I can..... thanks everyone for your texts...
     
  10. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,266
    Female
    South coast
    (((((hugs)))) jaff
    I think you handled that visit very well. You did right to say what you did about your brother though Im sure it nearly broke you.
     
  11. grove

    grove Registered User

    Aug 24, 2010
    7,724
    North Yorkshire
    #131 grove, Jun 20, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2016
    Thank YOU


    Jaff for your Big Hug , very kind :) & thoughtful (sorry for late reply but working all weekend plus catching up on other TP threads yesterday)


    Sorry you had a difficult visit with your Dad ( about your brother) much sympathy for you Jaff Another BIG HUG for dealing with that


    Oh a handy good tip with the Banana :) If your Dad likes cream , chop banana up & pour over the Cream hope that helps Cream = High Clariores


    Take care



    Hope you have a good day / week


    Love Grove x


    Love & Hugs
     
  12. Jaff

    Jaff Registered User

    Mar 28, 2016
    95
    Don't know why... feeling very lonely tonight.... Mum rang she over the moon that I will Ser her tomorrow....... can not sleep.... moan over.
     
  13. grove

    grove Registered User

    Aug 24, 2010
    7,724
    North Yorkshire
    Hi. Jaff. Sorry you feel lonely. Understandable especially as you live on your own Big Hugs and hope you have a good visit with your Mum tomorrow.

    Love. And. Hugs

    Grove. X
     
  14. Jaff

    Jaff Registered User

    Mar 28, 2016
    95
    Hi up date on mum.... New providers. Started at lunch time.. IF THEY DO WHAT THEY. SAY..... I will be more than happy... have to wait and see. .... going to have to moan about the change over the other providers.. left poor mums house in a right mess.... good job got there early.... to do housework. And the washing....... the new providers. Said they would do all of that. Light housework... and keep it tidied........ fingers. Cross........... next dad lol. Had his review... about time.... told them what was on my mind. E.g.... food..... trying to hurry salt term. And my lovely dad lol snitched on me.... ha.. I only get fed when my daughter comes to see me.. I had two bananas the other day...... I said sh. Sh. Dad that's our secret......... nurse said I did not hear that.. but laughter.... ... Dad was asking for my brother again.... four times... asking when he coming to see him... it's been a long time....... the first thing I thought of... was he had to go back into hospital... .... then he moaned no else comes to see him..... I really don't know what to do...... the last time we where together was Christmas eve...... that's the last time we all saw him....... I don't know how long I am going to get away with this....... right going to bed now as I have to leave here at eight...... in the morning...... have to get to mums be for nine... at long last I am going to be free of commodes..... . Then Alzheimer's clinic. Coming for a review on mum... and then mums hairdresss. Coming.... will put up date on when I can

    Take care all.
     
  15. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,266
    Female
    South coast
    Fingers well and truly crossed that all goes well
    xx
     
  16. HillyBilly

    HillyBilly Registered User

    Dec 21, 2015
    1,948
    Ireland
    Hope all goes well for you tomorrow x
     
  17. Jaff

    Jaff Registered User

    Mar 28, 2016
    95
    Hi up date... there is no change in mum.. with her dementia.... nurse says its anxiety. ... with everything that's gone on..... also worrying about me.... had a very busy two days.... first all the commode went back.. .... at long last.... had to call Dr out for mum legs swollen... she has fluid on them. So he up lifts water tablets....... showing new care res around mums house.... and today ... the crowning glory... ha ha lol. Got a new high rise toilet seat. And was fitted........ did a dance around the room.... ......... the only thing that let me down was the hairdresser. She did not come... never mind... just made up with seat..... dad no change... after he had his banana. He just went fast asleep... stayed asleep for two hours. So I sliped away...... back again tomorrow......
     
  18. grove

    grove Registered User

    Aug 24, 2010
    7,724
    North Yorkshire
    Hello Jaff & Good Work !


    Many thanks for the update ( feel am sort of part of your life now & tho we are not proper family** We are both part of the wonderful :) TP Family !)


    Glad your Mum has her special toilet Seat & lots of vibes it is not taken off again like the last one was ! ! Must make life easier for your dear Mum ! ( sorry about her legs :( tho but good GP has started on higher dose medication & hope it soon starts too work ! > Just too add Swollen legs can happen a lot > some of the ladies in the N H where I worked had the same problem)


    So sorry there is no change in your Dad but glad he still enjoys :) his Banana , stay strong Jaff you are amazing !


    Lots of Vibes your Mum is less worried / anoxious etc & she can have her hair done soon & hope you have a better visit with your Dad soon


    Take care , lots of love & HUGS


    Love Grove x x
     
  19. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,266
    Female
    South coast
    Yay! High five over the toilet seat!!

    Mum has swollen legs too - Im told its because of her heart not working very well. It was recommended that she has her feet lifted up higher on a footstool and if I can persuade her to do this it does help.
     
  20. Jaff

    Jaff Registered User

    Mar 28, 2016
    95
    Hi there. Lol you made me laugh grove...... feel the same way..... one big family....... very big hug and kiss for making me laugh... and you to canary... many thanks for being there.. all of you...... weekend not too good as I was not well... with stupid arthritis. In my ankle and knee...... same leg... very painful... had metal work in ankle... then they took it out.... was told would be bad with arthritis....... and yep.... they are right..... change in weather does not help...... anyway... no change in dad...... carer was worried over mum..... got the district nurse out...... ( I tried ) no luck... she rings up. And they came out today.....!! one of mums legs have broken into blisters.... had to be bandaged... as mum does get leg unclers a lot.... we had to be careful......... mmmmm coming up to a week on Tuesday. This new care package...... seems to be doing ok........ fingers cross.... big hug grove xxx and you canary xxx
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.