I cant take much more

[Kathleen]

The solicitors are now registering the EPA, they siad the house could not be sold without registration, but having looked at the PGO website.....thanks Yvonne.... perhaps they were wrong.

These are the firm Dad and Mum always used for their wills and setting up the EPA back in 2003. Dad told the solicitor who drew it up the reasons why he chose my husband and uncle and not my brother, but it seems his wishes are being forgotten somehow.

The EPA has been used since Dad's sudden death in October 2004 and there have been no problems until now.

My brother started making waves about a year ago and called a meeting at his home where he had obviously spent many hours putting together a plan for her money.......hence the decision to register it.

These plans included stopping paying for entertainment at the home, as "she doesn't know what's going on" stopping the hairdresser doing her hair as "she doesn't care what she looks like" and having a funeral plan which "won't be nearly as expensive as Dad's as there won't be as many people there."

At that point I blew my top and said if he spent more time visiting Mum and less time protecting his own interests I might be willing to listen to his crazy ideas..........I was told to leave and he has not contacted me since.

My uncle phoned the PGO and they seem to think that as my brother is not able to provide any evidence to back up his accusations, it should be alright, they say this happens a lot in families.............I just never in a million years thought it could happen in mine, we 3 children were always so close.........it is incredibly sad as no matter what, he is still my brother and I don't hate him, just the way he is acting at the moment.

Kathleen

 

[Kayla]

Dear Kathleen,
I'm so sorry that you are having all this trouble from your brother. I can't believe that he thinks that hairdressing isn't important, as I'm sure the attention is really beneficial for all residents in Care Homes. Their money is for them to enjoy the best care with. My only worry is what happens if Mum's money runs out? I'd like to think she had the best possible care.
I've always wanted to have brothers and sisters like other people, but perhaps there are a few advantages in being an only child. I do hope you are able to sort everything out without too much hassle. My thoughts are with you. Good luck!
Kayla

 

[sue38]

Dear Kathleen
The rules are that if your mum is no longer able to manage her affairs you must register the POA with the Court of Protection. I would not go through with the house sale until the POA is registered. If you do, this will give your brother more ammunition.
The fact that the Solicitors who prepared the POA were your Mum and Dad's usual solicitors and knew them should add weight to your case that they appointed people they trusted. I am sure that the PGO will take this into account.
Stick to your guns.

Sue xx

 

[connie]

Dear Kathleen, so sorry that you seem to be having to shoulder the burden alone.

Brothers, sisters, children, they can all seem wanting.

Lionel said today as I showed him a photo of new baby twins born last week:
"Thats what I miss, a family of my own" He has a son and , grandson who never acknowledge him, and a daughter who manages to visit 4 times a year (when he's lucky)

You know that you work with the very best intentions, so carry on the good work. They will have to live with their own conscience. Love n' hugs

 

[Grannie G]

My Carer`s Support Group contacted MIND on my behalf.
Apparently, although they will not reccommend solicitors, they have a list of solicitors who put their names forward as well able to attend to clients with mental health problems, for drawing up wills or POAs.
We have an appointment on Tuesday. I will keep you posted.

 

[soulsmilin]

Just to add that at your local citizens advice they can organise legal advice or a hour consutation for free, good way to sound out ideas without having to pay out for advice, and also there is something called think" tenancy in partners" where by that protects the property so that you dont have to sell the house to pay for the fees leaving your dad homeless, sorry not really up on the legal stuff but hope this might help.

good luck to you, hope things get better for you real soon
soulsmilin

 

[sue38]

Dear Soulsmilin,

Have just picked up your point about the 'tenancy in partners' thing. I hope this helps:

There are two ways in which joint owners can hold property.

The first is as 'joint tenants'. This is the way most husbands and wives/partners hold property. The best way I can describe it is both parties own the whole and if one dies their share automatically passes to the survivor irrespective of their will/rules of intestacy. If one party is in a nursing home and the survivor in the property then dies their share will pass to the survivor in the nursing home and the whole of the property will then be taken into account in assessing their capital.

In the other way which I think is what you are referring to they can hold the property as 'tenants in common'. This means that each party owns their own share (usually 50/50 but not necessarily). On death their share will pass under their will/rules of intestacy. The person in the property can make sure by will that their share passes to children or whoever and not to the joint owner in the nursing home. This means that only the (usually 50%) share of the person in the nursing home will be taken into account when assessing capital. It is a fairly simple procedure to change from joint tenants to tenants in common however it is important to make a will to make sure your wishes are legally effective.

I am sorry if this sounds like a legal lecture but hope it helps.

Go and see a solicitor if in doubt. We're not all bad!!

Sue xx