mum died 3 years ago and I still feel like this
my sister was invisible when mum was alive, when everything needed done...mum sort of accepted it, I think, but I struggled with it always and any time I brought it up I was shushed down like a naughty child
I cared for mum when my own kids were still in primary school and boy was it hard, I was completely torn down the middle, but there was no one else so I had to do it, I loved my mum and wouldnt have done otherwise
meanwhile my much older sibling was on holiday 4 times a year, her kids were grown up and she spent her time suiting herself, she had a good job as mum babysat for her when her kids were young so she could climb the career ladder ( I had to give up work to care for mum and now earn minimum wage).
then mum died and it destroyed me. my sister didnt grieve, she carried on with her great life...then she had grandkids and now is surrounded by grandkids and is retired and living a full and happy life. Everyone said she would be consumed by guilt over leaving it all to me, for years and years, but nothing is further from the truth. I cleared mums house and settled all her bills, there was no inheritance. The one time I spoke to her she was amazed I was still missing mum.
I was left to grieve alone, she never once asked how I was, her life is too full and exciting to bother asking how her younger sister who did all mums care is.
I'm so very very resentful. I think karma is a load of rubbish.
Please can anyone who has been in this situation tell me how to overcome these feelings, they hurt no one but myself. There is no use talking to my sister, she acts like I'm making a fuss over nothing and being pathetic.
God I wish I'd been an only child.
my sister was invisible when mum was alive, when everything needed done...mum sort of accepted it, I think, but I struggled with it always and any time I brought it up I was shushed down like a naughty child
I cared for mum when my own kids were still in primary school and boy was it hard, I was completely torn down the middle, but there was no one else so I had to do it, I loved my mum and wouldnt have done otherwise
meanwhile my much older sibling was on holiday 4 times a year, her kids were grown up and she spent her time suiting herself, she had a good job as mum babysat for her when her kids were young so she could climb the career ladder ( I had to give up work to care for mum and now earn minimum wage).
then mum died and it destroyed me. my sister didnt grieve, she carried on with her great life...then she had grandkids and now is surrounded by grandkids and is retired and living a full and happy life. Everyone said she would be consumed by guilt over leaving it all to me, for years and years, but nothing is further from the truth. I cleared mums house and settled all her bills, there was no inheritance. The one time I spoke to her she was amazed I was still missing mum.
I was left to grieve alone, she never once asked how I was, her life is too full and exciting to bother asking how her younger sister who did all mums care is.
I'm so very very resentful. I think karma is a load of rubbish.
Please can anyone who has been in this situation tell me how to overcome these feelings, they hurt no one but myself. There is no use talking to my sister, she acts like I'm making a fuss over nothing and being pathetic.
God I wish I'd been an only child.