As you know my husband is on respite/assessment and I have struggled to know if this is the right thing to do. I've toyed with having a carer while I go to work....most of you were against this. On Friday his sons went to see him in the home and he was quite distressed as most of the folks in there are far more advanced than him and they can be quite disruptive. I decided yesterday to bring him home for the night as a treat. While he was here all the things that make me feel I can't cope with him were endorsed. The mental and physical difficulties that make it so hard. But when I took him back to the home I so feel it is not right for him. He doesn't want to hear old ladies calling for their mothers, banging on all the doors, he is far above that. I am tormented......knowing what to do. I can't cope with him at home but I can't see him vegetate in a home, this is the worse dilemma I have coped with and each day seems to get harder, not easier.