Hazel, You started this thread under the title 'I can't do this'. You were absolutely right that you couldn't go on as you were, but what a turnaround! You should rename the thread 'Maybe I can't do this....but I CAN do this...' Well done on all you have achieved. I know it must have been a difficult decision to book John in to respite, but I'm sure it is the right decision for both of you and it sounds as though you have the support of John's son. (Is this the son who looked after him when you went to London?) Well done.