I can't do this............

sue38

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
10,849
52
Wigan, Lancs
Hi Hazel,

Just catching up after a hectic few days (non AD related for a change).

Just to say I hope it went well today and that John settles soon.
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Thank you for the good wishes everyone, I felt the power and love of TP behind me today.

It all went surprisingly smoothly. I went in this morning and the handyman came and carried the case in, and put up the pictures and photos. The male charge nurse welcomed me to the unit, and carers and nurses kept popping in to introduce themselves.

This afternoon I went to the hospital for 1.30, found somewhere to park (always a problem), and went up to the ward, to be told that John had just left. Back down in the lift to see the ambulance just pulling away! Raced back to the car and belted back to the NH, just as they were taking John out of the ambulance, so I was able to be with him when he went to his room.

It's lovely, ground floor, south facing, very sunny, and overlooking the garden. Again, everyone kept popping in to say hello. The hairdresser was in, so he's had his hair washed and trimmed -- much needed after a month of bed baths!

I'm very impressed with the file they keep on everyone, with umpteen different care plans. We only filled in the essentials today, they do it a bit at a time as they get to know people.

I came away as they sat down to tea, but son has been in this evening, and reported that John was sound asleep and snoring loudly. It's been an eventful day!

And he loved his squirrel!

Love and many, many thanks for all the good wishes.
 

blue sea

Registered User
Aug 24, 2005
270
England
So pleased it went well, Hazel. Sometimes the things we fear aren't as bad in reality. Although there will be ups and downs, as there are whatever the circumstances with someone with this illness, I'm sure you will find that overall you will be able to enjoy a better quality of relationship together now that the day to day burden of care is removed. Sleep well!
Blue sea
 

elaineo2

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
945
leigh lancashire
Dear Skye,I am so glad you had a nice welcome from the home.Settling in can be a turmoil for all involved but it sounds like the transition has gone well.love to you all.love elainex
 

Nell

Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
1,170
68
Australia
{{{{HUGS}}}}
(Biggest hugs I could do!! :) )

Hope you had a reasonable night's sleep (I'm thinking you'll read this on Friday) and that you feel ready to start the new regime.

Thinking of you and sending you loving and caring thoughts.
 

Taffy

Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
1,314
Dear Hazel,
I am pleased that things went well for you it sounds like a lovely place. I hope that things continue to go well. Take Care Taffy. :)
 

Cate

Registered User
Jul 2, 2006
1,370
Newport, Gwent
Hi Hazel

I am so pleased for you that everything went well with John's move, and the NH seems to be a really nice place with good people looking after John.

I expect you are emotionally wrung out today. Such a massive life change for you, but at least you can start to enjoy your visits with John instead of being exhausted from the day to day care.

Time to give yourself some TLC now.

Love

Cate
 

Bristolbelle

Registered User
Aug 18, 2006
1,847
Bristol
Just to say........

I just scanned most of this thread, and I thikn you have been marvellous coping as long as you have, and now having the strength to make the right choices for John and yourslef. I hope you put your feet up for a few hours. Take care and best wishes to you both.
 

Cliff

Registered User
Jun 29, 2007
777
North Wales
Hello Hazel,

Wasn't able to go on line yesterday but kept thinking how everything was going for you both. TP certainly gets to you.

Just read your post of yesterday - can feel relief for you.

Love to you both
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,972
Derbyshire
Hazel: Good to hear your post and it must be a relief to have the first day over and done. How are you feeling now??

Love Jan
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,716
66
Toronto, Canada
Dear Hazel,
I'm so glad it went so well (told you so, didn't I?) You'll probably find yourself completely exhausted for a few days at some point soon - that's just stress catching up to you. Just make sure you take care of youself - rest, rest and more rest.

Love
Joanne
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Thanks for the messages. I'm still very sad that it has come to this, but relieved on so many fronts.

Firstly, that John is in such a lovely place, with such caring staff. He appears to have settled very well. He's still having spells of agitation, but he was having them in hospital, I think they're still the after-effects of the infection. It was a lovely day again today, and we sat for a while in the garden. I'm going to post some pics.

Secondly, it's a great relief that John is being properly cared for, and I don't have to worry about him falling. He was weighed today 13 1/2 stone! No wonder I couldn't lift him!

Thirdly, I'm thankful that my step-sons are supporting me, and know I couldn't cope any longer.

Fourthly, I grateful to my wonderful financial advisor. I rang him yesterday afternoon and told him I needed another £500 a month. This afternoon he called in on his way home from work with three forms for me to sign. I know not everyone on this site believes in using them, but for me he has been worth his weight in gold.

Fifthly, I'm so grateful for all the support I've received from my friends on TP. It would have been so much harder without you.

So yes, it was an awful decision to make, but I've been so lucky to have had so much support.

This is John in his room:
 

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BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,972
Derbyshire
What beautiful pictures Hazel: I am so glad you can take and post them. (I am not sure that I could cos D would not be so photogenic!!).

You must be thinking 'another hurdle over'. Glad you have mustered so much support - that is credit to you, it does not come by chance.

I guess you will now settle into a different phase. Hopefully you can relax more and enjoy your time with John.

Take care Jan
 

sue38

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
10,849
52
Wigan, Lancs
Hazel,

I know how hard the last couple of days have been for you, and you have handled it with your usual strength and grace.

Nice to see John looking so well and contented and I am so pleased that you have the support of John's sons - long may it continue!

Thinking of you and John.

Much love
 

elaineo2

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
945
leigh lancashire
Dear Skye.Can i please adopt him as my grandad.He looks so much like my grandad i am in tears.I would love to meet him.Oh my word.i am in floods of tears.love elainex
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Elaine, he is the loveliest, gentlest, kindest man I have ever met. I owe him so much. That's why this is so hard.

Love,
 

Libby

Registered User
May 20, 2006
625
62
North East
Skye said:
Elaine, he is the loveliest, gentlest, kindest man I have ever met. I owe him so much. That's why this is so hard.
You are obviously so right for each other then Hazel

I too have had a little cry catching up on these posts - so glad to hear that John seems settled and that the staff at the home are so caring.

Take care

Libs x