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I Can't cope anymore


New member
Mar 30, 2020
Hi There

My nan has Alzheimers and since her diagnosis (2 years ago) things have gradually got harder and harder. My wife and i are in our 30's and are the sole cares for my nan (82) She was living with my mum in Scotland and was it was rather an abusive environment, it got to the point where my nan tried an overdose (this is all before being diagnosed) 3 Years ago my wife and i made the decision to collect my nan and moved her to live with us in a sleepy village in Rutland. This decision has split the family up and i have not spoken to my mother since. All was well to start with but as we suspected there were more serious issues with her heath we got her tested and had conformation of Alzheimers. As she did not want to be a "burden" to us (her words) we got her, her own flat in the village, 5 minute walk from our house. Things started off well but as time has gone on she has started to not accept her diagnosis, thinking that its too easy for the Dr's to tar her with that brush, and that she doesnt have it. We have now started to not mention it to her as she used to get very angry at the mention of it.

She has also got other underlining health issues and 2 weeks ago had a stent put into her heart. The plan was for her to stay with us for a few days to recover and make sure she was ok, and then Covid-19 happened, and she has been in lock down with us ever since. We have tried everything to make her fell welcome but she is very emotional and takes things out of perspective easily. This morning she misinterpreted what was said to her and she has been crying on the floor of her room for the last 3 hours. I have tried to speak to her and make her feel better but she has started lashing out saying hurtful things (which i know deep down she does not mean) and is insisting that she be allowed to go home to her flat. We have tried to explain to her that she can return home, but she has to understand the implications of that decision, She would have to stay isolated on her own and not go out. This she does not seem to take it. I have a 9 month old daughter and my wife has severe asthma so i have tried to explain that we would not be able to visit her in this time, but she does not seem to care (in her angered state).

Im really at a lose of what to do as i know she is not to able to care for herself (a nurse used to come in and help/check with her medication) and i know she will be very lonely once the realsition sets in she is alone in her flat. I all so do not want to keep her here when she feels like prisoner, but in the same breath i dont know how much more of this i can take as i have my own family to think of in this horrible time and the stress really is getting to me


Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
Welcome to the forum @Cliggs19

I’m so sorry to read of your situation. I think I would phone Social Services and explain the situation to them. Perhaps they have a crisis team . Explain she is a vulnerable person and you are not in a position to help her.