Mum started showing signs of dementia in 2003, forgetting things, being careless with her money, not washing, not eating. We were worried and arranged for her to see a phycyatrist who said it was early Alzihmers and with some help she should be able to stay in her home. I lived 50 miles away and although my brother lived closer he could not help a lot due to having a young family. I had 2 other sisiters , one of whome was ill and one who just could not be bothered, even when mum was well. When mum seen the phyciatrist my secound sister phoned me shoutinga nd screaming at me for not informing her, she knew more about Alzihmers than any of us and she should have been asked for advise. This is the same sister who only used to telephone once every few months even though she onlt lived 20 miels away. she passed mums house each day going to work and on her birthday would have put her card through the door if she got one at all. Mum ended up in hospital as she just was lsoing so much weight and went downhill so bad, she went to nursing home No1 which altough not an EMI home said because mum was early stage they could look after her. After 18 months this changed and they basically dumped her in hospital and cleared her room out. After a few weeks Mum got a place in and EMI unit run by local health board and about the same time I ended up in hospital myself with a breakdown. I did not see mum for a few months as I was not well enough to elave hospital and when I did see her it broke my heart. She had went from a confused woman who still knew me to a stranger . Somedays she would not even look at me. Forward a year, at mums last review they decided she no longer needed EMI care as no longer "challanging behavour" and we had to look for home No3 in 3.5 years. this time I put my foot down and moved her closer to me. Brother had got to the point he was visiting for maybe 5 minutes every month, it breaks his heart, one sister has died, mum never knew about this thank goodness, and other sisiter still does not visit. She does not even phone and her son says " she can't bear to see her " "you've got to realise how hard it is for her " WELL IT IS NOT A BED OF ROSES FOR ME !!!!! I now see mum most days, anything between 10 minutes and 1 hour. Somedays I enjoy seeing her but most I hate it, I hate seeing her sitting in a chair all alone with people she does not know and who do not know her. she is only a name to them, another patient. We had no choice, we had to move her. We were told she needed nursing care not EMI but I am worried if she goes back to being agressive we will have to move her again. I cannot go through that again. Please forgive me for saying this but sometimes I think she would be better off dead. Sorry for saying that I love her and would miss her but what life does she have? I just spent 30 minutes with her and she ranted and raved and seemed angrybut I do not know what about. 4 years ago she was a mum (4 kids, i now dead) a mother -in-law. a gran (13 grandkids ) a greatgran ( 10 ) a neighbour and a friend. She was an aunt and a sister ( her last 2 sisters have died since she bacame ill ) What is she now?? A patient in a nursing home, she has a seat in teh day room, a bedroom with a few photographs and one visitor. Please do not let me end up like her. Sorry for the rant I do not even know whay I wrote this .