I can’t believe this is happening

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
502
0
Thanks @Woo2 and @canary.

Mums really poorly, infection increasing and low potassium levels.

The consultant rang yesterday, said he’s worried about her, the infection is worse and going in the wrong direction.
She was started on new antibiotics Tuesday evening, the third or fourth I think and they’ll review in a few/couple of days.
There was a suggestion on Tuesday that they insert a feeding tube but thank goodness he didn’t think it was a good idea.

He asked if I wanted to see her as he thought it would help both of us so I went yesterday afternoon for about 4 hours.
She’s really poorly, very confused and struggling to breathe. She didn’t know I was there but then there was a glimmer.

I kept telling her I loved her and she said “love you too” back and at one point tried to give me a cuddle, difficult with an oxygen mask and face shield but the feeling from both of us was there.

I got her to eat a little pudding, a bit of yogurt and some water. She kept her mask on the rest itime and gripped both my hands with both of hers. I left her when she was sleeping and not gasping too much.

If there’s no significant improvement I think it would be cruel to continue treatment.

They’ll let me know if they decide to stop treatment.

I was so grateful to the compassionate consultant for allowing me to see Mum that I’m not sure I thanked him.

x
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
1,167
0
Don’t worry if you forgot to thank him, he will understand. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time and so glad that you got to spend some time with your mum
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,195
0
Nottinghamshire
I'm so glad you got to visit your mum @Just me, but so sorry there seems to be little improvement. I too think a feeding tube is not a good idea, but I hope the antibiotics work.
I hope you get to see her again very soon, as it will be of comfort to both of you.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,799
0
Oh @Just me. I'm sorry you're mum's so poorly but glad that you got that time with her. I agree about the feeding tube. I hope the new antibiotics make a difference and that you can see her again soon. Thinking of you and your mum.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
3,620
0
I am glad that you got a compassionate consultant and I agree about the feeding tube. Hope you get some rest and get to see your mum again.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,652
0
South East
Oh @Just me I’m sorry that there hasn’t been an improvement , I too agree about feeding tube , and also continuing treatment of things don’t change . A consultant with some common sense ...brilliant . So glad you got time with Mum , hope it can be repeated soon. Take care . Big hugs ? ?
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
502
0
Thank you everyone, that’s why I feel comfortable about sharing this with you, you offer so much support and understanding xx
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
I am so sorry to hear this news and I hope that the new antibiotics work.
If not, though, I agree with you about no feeding tube and stopping continuation of treatment.

Im glad you managed to spend time with her
(((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
502
0
Thank you for the hugs @canary.
Grateful as I am for yesterday’s visit It’s so hard not being there with her.
 

Milvus

Registered User
Sep 5, 2019
86
0
I've just read this thread with my stomach turning somersaults. What a nightmare for you, particularly not being able to get through to the hospital to find out what was happening. It's such a difficult time to have loved ones in hospital when you can't visit. I'm so glad they let you see your Mum eventually. That will have been such a precious time. Big hugs and I really hope you get better news soon.
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
502
0
Thank you @Milvus, it really is heartbreaking.
Mum is really poorly and the what ifs will stay with me forever. I just want to be with her and give her some comfort.
 

Hayley JS

Registered User
Feb 20, 2020
301
0
I'm so glad you were able to visit your mum, I just read your post and it's got me all teary. Sending you hugs and best wishes and strength for whatever lies ahead xx
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,443
0
Kent
There was a suggestion on Tuesday that they insert a feeding tube but thank goodness he didn’t think it was a good idea.

I was offered this for my husband and I felt the consultant suggested it as a matter of procedure but accepted my refusal almost with relief.

I`m sorry your mum is so poorly @Just me. Pleas don`t allow the `what ifs` to dominate. We all know we do our best with what we`re given at the time and looking back with hindsight is not how it was then.
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
502
0
It’s taken me a while to reply/update but I thought I’d finish this post rather than start a new one.

Sadly Mum died on 29/11/20 of covid pneumonia, a horrible painful end after so many years living with dementia.

There’s so much going round my mind, grief at loosing her, her suffering, the circumstances leading up to her death, being alone, not knowing where I belong anymore.

On top of this I’ve also been advised to lodge a Independant complaint about her care but it’s still too raw nearly 4 months after her death.

I needed to end this chapter of mums story for myself and everyone on DTP who helped and supported me over the last 7 or so years, particularly at the end of last year.

Thank you ?? xx
 

Staff online

Forum statistics

Threads
138,125
Messages
1,993,196
Members
89,787
Latest member
Seabream