I am so so tired, i am tired of waking up every morning with an oxygen mask strapped to my face because of my breathing/ heart problems and the red mark that it makes. I`m so tired of having foggy days when i put mouthwash on my hair to wash and Polygrip on my tooth brush to clean my teeth, i am so tired. I`m tired of feeling ill nearly every day and fighting to keep a smile on my face . I`m so tired of throwing my plates in the bin along with the cutlrey and the despairing look in my Angels (Elaines)eyes. I am so so tired of wanting to pick my grandchildren up and throwing them over my shoulder,run with them, play with them, and wanting to tell everybody not too worry its all going to be ok. I`m so tired of mixing my words up and not getting a full sentence out which is so frustrating. I`m so tired of falling and hurting myself, crossing the road without being pulled back or walking like i am drunk. Of being reminded to take my tablets day and night and the nightmares that nightime brings.
But most of all i`m tired of seeing the hurt and despair in my families eyes as they look on at me when i am admitted to hospital at least five/six times a year being told "This could be It " and all the prodding and poking that comes with it.
I am so so tired.
This is as Honest as it gets xxxxxxxxxxxxx
But most of all i`m tired of seeing the hurt and despair in my families eyes as they look on at me when i am admitted to hospital at least five/six times a year being told "This could be It " and all the prodding and poking that comes with it.
I am so so tired.
This is as Honest as it gets xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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