I am so angry.

crafty

Registered User
Jun 26, 2010
27
0
Yorkshire
Hi folks,

Well things have got worse since i last posted about Dad,
He started messing with electrics and the gas fire. Constantly going walk about at 2,3,4, in the morning really putting himself in danger.So we managed to find a lovely home for him and he went in last Friday.Dad's neighbour rang my sister at five to night to say your Dad is home he has just been dropped of in a car, WHAT! so we went dashing round to Dad's and sure enough there was Dad trying to get into his bungalow he had got a lift with a total stranger but thankfully the stranger was a kind bloke and safely took Dad home i dread to think what the outcome could of been. He had escaped from the home at around four o'clock as that was the last time they had seen him i rang the home at six and asked why my Dad was stood in his bungalow they didn't even know he was missing. It's written in his care plan that he likes to wander.I cant believe this has happened he wasn't safe at home and it looks like he isn't safe in a care home either.I could cry it was hard enough to make the move to put Dad in a home,my Sister and i feel as though someone has ripped our hearts out all we want to do is bring Dad home to live with us but we know we cant do it as he is so demanding we are physically drained and feel so ill.

Tina xx
 

piedwarbler

Registered User
Aug 3, 2010
7,189
0
South Ribble
Oh Crafty I am so sorry. I know at Mum's home they have the door locked constantly because of wanderers. I don't know how you will feel you can trust them again.

Hope you get something sorted.

Thinking of you, you must be sick with worry xx
 

normelle

Registered User
Apr 25, 2010
612
0
82
bournemouth
dear crafty

my heart goes out to you and your family.what a painful thing for you to have to cope with.i was crying before now im crying even more.
i do hope things can get sorted out in the manner that is right for you and your dad.
love normelle xx
 

sue38

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
10,849
0
55
Wigan, Lancs
I'm not surprised you're angry and upset. Bad enough that your dad left unnoticed - but 2 hours later and no one had realised is inexcusable.

Is it a secure home? I know there was a resident at my dad's home who managed to get out on one occasion but he was always on escape watch after that.

Luckily no harm done on this occasion, and it should wake the home up, but I would ask for an urgent meeting with the manager.
 

SheilaL

Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
225
0
South Lakes
Dear lord that is terrible! And if, God forbid, something had happened, would the home still have sat on its hands? Makes cold shivers go through you
 

crafty

Registered User
Jun 26, 2010
27
0
Yorkshire
Thank you for all your messages.

Sue yes it is supposed to be a secure home, there are three bungalows that are all joined together and each bungalow has different stages of Dementia people in them, and the doors have a button that you have to press to walk from one to the other.
People are allowed to walk round them all and Dad knows how to do the button already. The main doors to get out of the building are coded, i think he has followed a relative out as they were leaving.Apparently one of the carer's was told Dad was in another bungalow after going for a walk around and that he was going to have his tea there. But nobody thought to go and check on him to make sure that he was there and it wasn't until i rang them to ask why was my Dad at his home that they new he was missing.
I haven't slept all night.
We will ask for an emergency meeting.

Tina xx
 

Onlyme

Registered User
Apr 5, 2010
4,992
0
UK
Its very difficult when visiting to know who should not be allowed to follow you out.

In one hospital the patients who tend to go walkabout have coloured sweatshirts on so its a lot easier to know is who.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,455
0
Kent
Although it is very upsetting , it is sometimes impossible to prevent escape unless the person is in a really secure environment.

My mother escaped from hospital day care, pretending to be a visitor to a student nurse just coming on duty. She found her way along a half mile winding drive, flagged down a taxi and arrived home to her bungalow safely.
She asked her neighbour to lend her the money for the fare and only then did the neighbour phone me.
Meanwhile staff at the day hospital were still searching.

She then spent a day at a secure home , with a view to permanent residence and even managed to escape from there. She got a bus, offered the bus driver her address , as she had no money, he refused to take her and made her get off the bus. She went into a pub and asked the Landlord to phone the Police. The Police phoned me.

I am not condoning the failure to supervise at all times but am trying to illustrate how canny desperation can make people who are convinced they are in the wrong place and need to get home.

Sadly my mother ended up on a third floor secure EMI unit.
 

lin1

Registered User
Jan 14, 2010
9,350
0
East Kent
Tina
How awful, and no one realised your dad had gone.
Thank god the neighbour spotted your dad and alerted you

I do hope the home will learn from this.

A few months ago I remember reading here, that someones mum had managed to climb a (think it was 10 foot ) garden wall, and was spotted by an off duty carer of th c h .
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,971
0
Derbyshire
My husband is on the 'absconders' list at the NH - when he was slightly more mobile he managed to get through the secure door at 5.30 am! Someone had left it on the latch.

Another resident so determined to leave, watched visitors hit the security pad until he knew the code. We were all advised of the change of code thereafter.

It does happen and with mobile residents it must be hard for them to identify where they are at any time.

Still you are right to ask for emergency meeting and they should be putting in extra safeguards to protect your Dad. If you are happy with the Home in general maybe you have to give them another chance.
 

Helen33

Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
14,697
0
Dear Tina,

I know how distraught you must be because this happened with my husband's brother. He escaped from a secure unit and was missing for hours and hours. This was years ago and it is still the talk in the family to this day (only we now all smile about it and refer to it as his Great Escape). At the time it was a disgrace and, apparently, not uncommon:eek: Mind you that was quite a number of years ago and I suspect it won't be so common now!!

It will be interesting to hear what the home have to say about what is lacking in their procedures and how they intend to immediately safeguard residents!!

Wishing you all the best for your meeting.

Love