1. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,529
    Ireland
    A lot of sense being spoken Angie. I well remember the terror of actually having to approach the medics etc. and say "This is the situation." - thankfully, William's consultant didn't need it spelled out. He was very perceptive, and picked most of the situation up from William's body language toward me when I was asked how things were!

    At the very least, you need to contact whoever prescribed the Risperdol and tell them that it's not doing the job (are you sure your husband is taking it? Could he be spitting it out/hiding it?/missing doses?). My husband's consultant did have to try a couple of medications before hitting on a combination that worked for him - risperidone and molipaxin, along with exelon patches. But once he found a successful combination, William had about two calm, happy years at home. He's now in full time care and is still calm and relaxed most of the time.
     
  2. angiebails

    angiebails Registered User

    Oct 8, 2009
    227
    crewe
    I will not let him get behind the wheel of the car like you say hide the car keys, I went through so much stress with his family when I was telling them he shouldn't be driving. At least now they understand but they still offer no support. My sons have been brilliant and do support me but I have taken a break in confiding in them as they have both just had a new baby and they are lacking in sleep because of it. In a while once they have settled with there new family's they will be there to support me again.
    It is a lot to take on and yes the dvla should be taking hid licence as it expires in a month and he won't get another.
    Thanks for your help and I have taken steps to sort matters. I have an appointment with his gp on Wednesday.
    I have a small op on Monday at hospital and I think with this and everything else it is getting too much.
    I just wish that he would be more understanding and less aggressive but I know won't happen Anymore.
    To think that 8 years ago he was running our business and doing all the accounts etc working 60 hours a week and now he won't even answer the phone.


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  3. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,984
    Cotswolds
    Angieballs....just sending you a hug....
     
  4. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,962
    Brixham Devon
    Quite so Benrese. I hid how bad Pete was from my daughter and she was terribly upset. She accused me of not trusting her and treating her like a child. That wasn't quite the case as I was trying to protect her. She wasn't happy in the slightest.:eek:

    As for taking your OH on a plane-please reconsider. September 2011 I took Pete on holiday to France and it was a complete nightmare-we didn't even go by plane but used the Chunnel. A change of environment can be a nightmare. Pete left two different Hotels on his own because he didn't know where he was. It was only by chance that I found him. He was argumentative and drank too much. I had to stay stone cold sober because I had no idea what he would do next! He was terribly nasty to me because of his confusion.
    Please do as others have suggested and phone SS's-believe me when I say you are at risk. Even better the next time he shows any violence please dial 999. The Police won't hurt your Husband, but they will send in a report to your OH's GP and SS's, and this could kick start you getting the help you so obviously need.

    Take care

    Lyn T X
     
  5. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    This driving thing is one of the worst nightmares. Everything Scarlett has written in these first two paragraphs of her message is what I was actually threatened with. Prosecution by the police if he hurt or killed anyone when he was driving. I was another who refused to be a passenger with my hubby, in the end. That made him angry, but I didn't care. He could get angry for all it mattered. I was not about to put my own life in danger.

    Angie, you really do have to stamp your own feet and get the authorities to hear you. For your own sake, you must no longer delay insisting on getting this sorted. For me, the angry outbursts finally stopped as they happened right at the very beginning. It is just a phase, and one of thee worst. It does pass, but people must be told. You have to get help for the both of you, or you'll crumble, my love. And that isn't nice.

    I hate this loathsome disease.
     
  6. Mommidizzle

    Mommidizzle Registered User

    Mar 15, 2012
    44
    Angieballs .... speak to your GP re his driving !! he/she will take the responsibility for stopping him!! TBH my OH driving wasnt as bad as yours but with the winter coming and bad roads i was concerned about OH ability to respond quickly enough if something went wrong, after a quick chat with her (alone) she then talked to him and said that she would want him to be re assessed by the DVLA and not to drive until that had been done. He then decided after a few days that he was not gonna have some 'no mark' instructor decide whether or not he should be able to drive after 50 yrs of blame free driving!! so he surrendered his license to the DVLA (his effin decision not theirs!! ) (i may have encouraged this objection a bit if you know what i mean??) I then sold his car within a few days of him making 'his decision' and although for the first 2 days it was my fault as i was obviously in 'cahoots with these people' he now believes it was 'the ***** of a doctor ......or the government because he's old !! (he's 69 btw) that have conspired against him to 'get him off the road'' but heyho i'm off the hook!! :) its been about 3 months now since this all happened and although he still mentions it from time to time it has gone much better than i ever thought it would :)
     
  7. ASH74

    ASH74 Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    294
    Firstly big hugs.....going through this on your own must be so scary. You have had some great advice here.

    Disable the car if you can (my FIL was very resourceful) also ask the Doc who prescribed the risperodon if your hubby should be driving .....it is the a medical opinion ....no relative can argue with that.

    The other issue regarding the plane ....if he falls asleep and then hallucinates on the plane you could have a major incident on your hands which is horrendous for all concerned.

    You need to be honest with the docs about what it is doing to you .....it just isn't fair on you.

    Thinking of you.


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     

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