My 83 year old mum is type 2 diabetic with high blood pressure and a heavy smoker who still lives independently with a nurse home visit to administer her insulin.
Although not yet assessed - It has only been the last few months that I recognise that she is NOT being stubborn and lazy but I am now recognising all the signs of dementia. I now believe she has had this for some time. I am going to make an appointment monday for an assessment which is very hard in Covid times with short staff and everything else.
Since May last year I have had problems with not only my mum but her CARER who is mums friend. Between my mum and her carer friend I have been to hell and back and now back to square one as carer friend finished last Friday and although I am relieved to finally not have to deal with her. I am scared and facing this alone.
Last 2 weeks I have gone from not wanting to face the reality to becoming obsessed !
This has all taken a toll on my health and I am now suffering from night-time Asthma. Which is constant disturbed sleep with violent coughing fits which I believe is a result of the constant stress and anxiety I have been under.
I have to set up a video monitoring device where mum does not have to do anything or press any buttons, the video call is all completely controlled by me at MY home which is a 22 mile round trip from mums.
I was so relieved because my mum is also profoundly deaf and impossible to get hold of her on the telephone. So now it appears I solved one problem but created another. I can't stop checking on her ! Today I had to go and see her and was in a state of panic because seeing her this morning sitting in her chair alone and looked so vulnerable I just cried buckets.
I had bought her a new smart tv which now was a massive mistake, she of course could not operate it. My panic today was to get there and put her old tv back which is what I did. Mum was happier and so was I.
I just checked on her again (video camera) and she is sitting in her chair knitting. She has knitted all her life but now she can only muster a few rows gets agitated unwinds it and starts again - this is so good for her. I am so much happier tonight and fell asleep exhausted on the sofa.
I only joined this site today and feel so thankful to have found it. Been reading lots of posts and now having the much needed knowledge I needed.
I know its a long long road ahead. Mum is not eating, she is eating junk crisps and chocolate (she's diabetic) ! She is sleeping nearly all the time and just "existing".. its heartbreaking...
I feel so guilty for having bad thoughts - is it wrong to pray to God please take her now. I feel so selfish. I feel like my life is over. Is this normal. I am so scared with what I have to face and deal with.
How do you deal with your stress ? I am lucky to only work one day a week - But I have two aging pets (they were my mums pets) Milly Jack Russel is 14 and Katie cat is 18. I came home after being with mum for 4 hours to mess on the floor. It seems the world and everything is against me at the moment.
Although not yet assessed - It has only been the last few months that I recognise that she is NOT being stubborn and lazy but I am now recognising all the signs of dementia. I now believe she has had this for some time. I am going to make an appointment monday for an assessment which is very hard in Covid times with short staff and everything else.
Since May last year I have had problems with not only my mum but her CARER who is mums friend. Between my mum and her carer friend I have been to hell and back and now back to square one as carer friend finished last Friday and although I am relieved to finally not have to deal with her. I am scared and facing this alone.
Last 2 weeks I have gone from not wanting to face the reality to becoming obsessed !
This has all taken a toll on my health and I am now suffering from night-time Asthma. Which is constant disturbed sleep with violent coughing fits which I believe is a result of the constant stress and anxiety I have been under.
I have to set up a video monitoring device where mum does not have to do anything or press any buttons, the video call is all completely controlled by me at MY home which is a 22 mile round trip from mums.
I was so relieved because my mum is also profoundly deaf and impossible to get hold of her on the telephone. So now it appears I solved one problem but created another. I can't stop checking on her ! Today I had to go and see her and was in a state of panic because seeing her this morning sitting in her chair alone and looked so vulnerable I just cried buckets.
I had bought her a new smart tv which now was a massive mistake, she of course could not operate it. My panic today was to get there and put her old tv back which is what I did. Mum was happier and so was I.
I just checked on her again (video camera) and she is sitting in her chair knitting. She has knitted all her life but now she can only muster a few rows gets agitated unwinds it and starts again - this is so good for her. I am so much happier tonight and fell asleep exhausted on the sofa.
I only joined this site today and feel so thankful to have found it. Been reading lots of posts and now having the much needed knowledge I needed.
I know its a long long road ahead. Mum is not eating, she is eating junk crisps and chocolate (she's diabetic) ! She is sleeping nearly all the time and just "existing".. its heartbreaking...
I feel so guilty for having bad thoughts - is it wrong to pray to God please take her now. I feel so selfish. I feel like my life is over. Is this normal. I am so scared with what I have to face and deal with.
How do you deal with your stress ? I am lucky to only work one day a week - But I have two aging pets (they were my mums pets) Milly Jack Russel is 14 and Katie cat is 18. I came home after being with mum for 4 hours to mess on the floor. It seems the world and everything is against me at the moment.