I am mentally washed out.

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Archibald, Jun 21, 2019.

  1. Archibald

    Archibald New member

    Jun 11, 2019
    1
    hi I am new to this. Here goes,my husband is 66 and was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia and Alzheimer’s 3 years ago. His memory is getting worse but I can cope with that,it’s his personality change I am having difficulty with,I cannot reason with him he is back chatting me in nearly everything I say,and has become argumentative and does not seem to comprehend anything that I try to explain to him. He has never been a social person and won’t interact with any activities given to him for support. He chooses to sit at home on his iPad and maybe goes out on his bike for an hour maybe twice a week. He also suffers depression and last year I found out that he was contemplating suicide.He has also had a course of shock treatment. I myself have Ménière’s disease and now suffering panic attacks and anxiety. I am having to be careful at what I say as I do not know how he is going to answer me . I find this all very upsetting. We barely talk anymore. I do get out to the gym and also go to Kinesiology and meditation to help me. I am unhappy in our situation and don’t know what to do next. I know this is going to get worse and I know that i will not be able to cope. Sorry for this being so long.
     
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    9,797
    Merseyside
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,896
    Kent
    Hello @Archibald. Welcome to Talking Point.

    There are many here who will identify with your experiences and feelings. The early years are often the most challenging.

    Please don`t apologise for a long post. It`s only on Talking Point you will be able to off load and find everyone understands what is happening.

    There are no magic answers unfortunately. It`s something we live through however painful.

    This link may help you deal with your situation.

    https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/


    Please stay in contact. I`m sure there will be a lot of support for you.
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,896
    Kent
    :)

    Well @Archibald. Two of us with the same recommendation. Hopefully it will be a good start for you.
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,623
    Female
    South coast
    Hello @Archibald you could be describing my OH - the only difference is that he no longer has enough balance to ride his bike. It can be difficult to accept the changes - especially changes in personality. It is best not to try and hold conversations like you would once have done. My OH no longer follows what I am saying and accuses me of trying to tell him what to think, so now I only tell him what he needs to know. Dont try and explain anything, because logic and reasoning are usually lost early. I find it best to just leave him in the conservatory with his android tablet and carry on with my own things.
     
  6. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,621
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to Dementia Talking Point, Archibald. There's not much I can recommend beyond the compassionate communication, but the headline certainly is something familiar. Your local carers centre might be running carers groups, there are a couple in Bristol which have helped me through similar problems. Lunch clubs and respite are always worth looking into, but if your husband is still active I don't know how relevant it is to at the moment.
    Carers groups offer the same safe place as this to offload among people who understand, only in person and with coffee. Try https://carers.org/ and put your postcode in the search box.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.