I am lost and sad and dont know what to do

[bramblelf]

My dad is 73 and has been ill with vasluar dementia for 9 mths. He had a fall and hit his head and was in hospital for a week last Nov.15th They told us for the first time thats what he had.thing is he had the fall on the year to the date my sister,his youngest daughter killed herself.With in a few months he has gone down hill fast,its shocking ! They said he needed restbite as my mum is finding it hard to cope and is depressed,my 14yr daughter and i moved from Dorset last Feb. to my parents house so i could help out with care. My daughter stopped attending school here due to panic attacks and now has pcambs help and a family surpport worker. Today we found out the so called 5 day restbite is now forever...my dad will not be coming home again. All his stuff is here,i look around and im in tears. He is in a Nursing Home thats 3 hrs and 42 mins on buses and walking each way.They said they will try to move ny beloved dad in a month nearer to us. We dont drive and moneys tight.I had to tell my daughter that he Grandpa will not be coming home. How can we cope? I feel sick with crying .Has anyone been thou this ? Please help me. thankyou xx Kerrry

 

[tarababe]

Hi brambleif, I am so so sorry that this is happening to you and your dad. I can't really offer any advise but just wanted you to know you will not be alone in dealing with this and I'm sure someone with more experience will be along soon to hopefully help.

 

[Dazmum]

I'm so sorry Kerry, what a shock and upheaval for you all. I hope that they can move your dad nearer to you very soon, can you begin to look at homes locally to find one that you would like him to be at? I know you don't want him to be in a nursing home, but if it helps your mum cope, then it will be easier for her. Just because he is in a care home it doesn't mean she can't still help with his care, but he will be safe and well looked after. It is an upsetting time.

There will be others along with more practical suggestions for you very soon I'm sure. There is a lot of support here on TP for you. Hugs for you xxx

 

[bramblelf]

Thankyou x

Hi brambleif, I am so so sorry that this is happening to you and your dad. I can't really offer any advise but just wanted you to know you will not be alone in dealing with this and I'm sure someone with more experience will be along soon to hopefully help.

It means a lot to me that you care, bless you xx

 

[Varandas]

I am sorry to read about your difficult situation and although I can't offer advice or write the magic words that will make everything better, I wanted to say that you have friends, people that can share the pain and feeling of helplessness with you.
Keep well
xx