I've been reading a lot about denial in the threads today. I admit I'm in denial and I've known this for over a year now. It enables me to cope. It enables each day to have some happiness and peace. It enables me to pretend that everything is normal with Alan and myself. My denial helps Alan because he's spared from seeing the unthinkable in my eyes, voice and actions. This denial enables me to be loving and hopeful. Yes, hopeful. How much more can one be in denial. I hope that tomorrow will be as good as today (and today I was depressed) BUT I am o.k. and the day went really well. I hope that we'll have a really nice holiday. I hope that we can go for a cycle ride or go canoeing on Saturday and that the sun will shine. I hope that the days will stay ordinary. I KNOW THEY WONT. But denial helps me on a day to day basis.
I've just realised why I was so depressed today. Yesterday I looked up that site stating the 7 stages of dementia and I realised just how far up that scale Alan was I was shocked and horrified but I've only just this minute remembered!
I think when it comes to important things like Alan driving, then I had to face reality. I had to face reality regarding a Power of Attorney etc. etc. BUT unless it's necessary I AM IN DENIAL AND I WANT TO STAY THERE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.
Love Helen
I've just realised why I was so depressed today. Yesterday I looked up that site stating the 7 stages of dementia and I realised just how far up that scale Alan was I was shocked and horrified but I've only just this minute remembered!
I think when it comes to important things like Alan driving, then I had to face reality. I had to face reality regarding a Power of Attorney etc. etc. BUT unless it's necessary I AM IN DENIAL AND I WANT TO STAY THERE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.
Love Helen