I am grieving for my Mum even though she has dementia

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Dear Grace.

That your father now accepts the help he wouldn`t have accepted in the past shows how he has changed. Don`t panic, adapt yourself to his new needs.

I wouldn`t buy him slip on shoes if he can no longer tie his laces. They do not give the same support and the change in long term habits might cause even more confusion.

Allow yourself to do these things for him. He will now accept help. It is very sad, but he is lucky to have you there.

Unfortunately with dementia we have no option other than to adapt ourselves to the changes.

Take care

Love xx


Registered User
Feb 26, 2006
Dear All

I feel very much the same as my dad has vascular dementia and I "lost" him almost overnight.

dad and I were very close - he came daily before he was ill and although he has vascular dementia for a while I still miss him and also want to scream "give me back my dad"
dad was very independent and it is so painful to see him as he is now
sometimes I try to accept my "new" dad but mostly I am in tears leaving the care home where he is and although i look forward to seeing him in another way i know i am going to feel great sadness at seeing him.
like gracew i feel desperately sad at the loss of dad , - his friendship, guidance and love
after two years i don't seem to be any closer to coming to terms with this loss and although i have not posted for a long time i find tp a source of comfort to know i am not alone in this sad illness

thinking of all coping with this awful illness