I am glad that Mummy is free...

[edithasta]

My Mum died yesterday morning, after living with dementia for 15 years. After looking after her at home for 13 years, my father was forced to put her into a care home; he was given no option by doctors, because she had to be peg-fed. We both visited her on Tuesday, and I believe that after seeing us for one last time, she decided to stop fighting. She had been so strong for so long, and had suffered so very much. She had been given the last rites 18 months before, but had still managed to live to fight another day. I am so proud of her. In her last weeks, she had just wanted to sleep. I think that she was preparing herself and to an extent, preparing us. Her death was swift-she had a massive heart attack. This is exactly what we had wished for her. We went to see her, and she looked beautiful and serene. Some of the staff at the home said that she looked like an angel. She is now.
I cry. I dream of her. I remember our house, that she made a home. I see her warts and all. My parents had been together since they were teenagers, and my Dad had known her since she was born. He is a proud man, who gave up his life to care for the woman he loved. I am so proud of him. I vowed to him, that I would never put him in a care home, after what we had seen. We no longer trust the medical profession; some doctors do not heal, but destroy. We believe that my mum developed dementia, due to the high doses of HRT that she was prescribed in the 80s and 90s. Although my mum developed side-effects due to taking these drugs, her GP prescribed even more. Women prescribed Prempak C have been found to have developed dementia. My mother was prescribed Prempak C. I am convinced that this is the reason my mum is now dead.
I value the time we spent together, in sickness and in health. I know that the days ahead will be hard, but I am overjoyed that she is now free. I have been missing my mum for 15 years, but I believe that we will meet again. To you all, be strong. To Mummy, I love you.

 

[Jo1958]

Edithasta, hello
I am so sorry to hear your news, my sincere condolences to you, your father and your family.
Wishing you strength in the days and weeks to come.
Kind regards, Jo

 

[elaine n]

Hello edithasta, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. Sending you love and wishing you strength for the days ahead xxxxxxxelaine

 

[florence43]

Sad news, on every level and I am sorry to read about your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family and I hope you can build up strength and start enjoying good memories very soon.

Do take care,

 

[Grannie G]

I am sorry for your loss Edith.

 

[Jancis]

Dear Edithasta,
I'm sorry to hear of your loss of your dear mum.
Do keep posting and visit the main forum too for help and possible solace.
Hope you find some comfort knowing that she is free to find her peace. Your dad will be needing you now, the journey goes on.
Love Jancis x

 

[Tender Face]

Dear Edithasta. I am so sorry for your loss – and the many issues and concerns you have raised in one post which are troubling you.

For now, my sincere condolences. Perhaps the thoughts and issues you feel around your mum’s dementia can be worked through once you have ‘celebrated’ her life? I am pleased for you, you can see this as ‘release’. I wish you strength for the days ahead and for how you find your own peace and trust again. I have often found working through 'issues' on TP - including since my own mother died to be a great salve and support.

Love Karen,

 

[lin1]

Dear Edithasta

My condolences to you all,

 

[mad mel]

hrt

Dear Edithasta
I am sorry for your loss.I am also concerned that my Mum's Dementia was caused by her having Hrt post Menopause.I lost my Mum in June 2008.Wishing strength to cope with the coming months.
Take care
Mel

 

[Rosie]

Dear Edithasta,
As you say your mum is at peace now, free from a terrible disease, sending love & hugs, hope fully you & your family now can find peace as well, take care Rosie xxx

 

[Helen33]

Dear Edithasta,

Thinking of you in your loss and of the many issues that surround you in this. Please accept my sincere condolences.

Love

 

[piedwarbler]

Edithasta,

Sorry for your loss and hope you find continuing peace of mind in the days and months to come. I hope your dad and you can find some good time together x

 

[Izzy]

My sincere condolences.

 

[Vonny]

Dear Edithasta, sincere condolences to you and your family on your loss. xx

 

[turbo]

Hello Edithasta, I am sorry to hear the sad news about your mum.


Turbo

 

[loneyjade]

i am glad mummy

Edithasta, my sincere sympathy to you and your family on your sad loss. Sending you all, my love and hugs.

Kindest Regards Jade.xxx

 

[PostTenebrasLux]

Edithasta,

my sympathy to you - and your father - at the loss of your mother. You sound so philosophical and strong and I am sure that you and your father will pull through, with time.
Do spread the word about HRT - raising awareness in prevention.

Welcome to TP - the right place for support.

Thinking of you.

Martina

 

[edithasta]

Thanks so very much.....

Thanks for all of your kind words. We have been arranging Mummy's funeral, and she will be cremated on Friday 15 October. It's been a hard week, full of tears and memories. So many of my parent's friends have visited, and it's wonderful to know how loved and missed she is.
Mummy developed dementia in her early 50's and was 68 when she died, but I feel honoured to have shared the time that we did. Life isn't always perfect, but the moments that you spend together are precious and can never be repeated. All of the memories that I suppressed for so many years are flooding back; suppressing them was the only way that I could cope with Mummy's illness.
I know that the funeral is going to be difficult, but I have the support of my family and friends. I feel for my Dad most of all, who had to accept the reality of her dying a long time ago. I think that the last goodbye will be terribly hard for him.
I mentioned my suspicions about the role that HRT played in Mummy's illness. To anyone who is concerned about this, there is now a great deal of information on the internet. The best course of action is to do your research, and to question those in the medical profession who are prescribing the drugs. You have access to the same information as your doctors, so please use it. I have yet to start my menopause, but have decided not to take any HRT medication. I just can't take that risk.
Loss never lessens, but each day is an opportunity to celebrate the time you had together. I believe that, while you will never forget the person who has gone, you must still try to look to the future with optimism and hope. Take care.