I am desperate for advice..........

[SooperCooperb4]

I am trying desperately to get advice......
My wife's medical health carer suggested I and my daughter get medical power of attorney.
I have the form/s.
Our dr is now saying as a doctor she -the dr - cannot sign the form since as my wife's dr, she does not feel confident that my wife understands the form! !......
Actually she does!.....my wife has confidence in me......we have been married for 51 years!

 

[canary]

Hello @SooperCooperb4 and welcome to DTP

It doesnt have to be your GP that witnesses your wifes signature on a POA. Anybody who knows her well and has known her for 2 years (apart from family) or more can sign it, so is there a friend or neighbour who is willing to sign?

 

[Louise7]

Welcome from me too @SooperCooperb4 you'll find this is a helpful and friendly group. I was just about to post the same as @canary, and it seems from other posts here that there aren't many doctors who want to get involved in signing power of attorney forms. My mum's forms were signed by her next door neighbour who had known her for several years. The person signing (the witness) just needs to be satisfied that your wife understands what she is signing at that time.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @SooperCooperb4. Welcome to Dementia Talking Point.

When I wanted Power of Attorney for my husband, the solicitor spoke to my husband seperately to ensure my husband knew what he was signing.

Perhaps you could point this out to your wife`s doctor

It`s a bit tough after 51 years of marriage to be told you don`t understand what your wife does and does not understand. After all you are living with her 24/7.

Worst case scenario I suppose the doctor has to cover their back.

 

[Duggies-girl]

@SooperCooperb4 as others have suggested, it is probably easier to get neighbours or friends to help you with it. Dads neighbours witnessed and signed the forms for dad. They knew him well and were quite happy to sign over a cup of tea and biscuits.

Close friends and good neighbours often know the person much better than the GP does and are often in a better position to judge whether the person understands what they are signing.

 

[Lucy44]

Hi hope all the replies are helping and putting your mind to rest.

A GP may feel uncomfortable agreeing to sign as they will judge the situation at the time of a visit or appointment and it probably goes against their code of contact and so they won't like to............

............... However, you know your better than any one else and so you , friends and family will be best placed to judge if your wife understands what she is signing for in that moment.


Our family friend, who knew my Mum helped signed our forms and it was realy straight forward on line yourselves.

You don't need to involve the GP

 

[SooperCooperb4]

A neighbour has witnessed my wife signing, that was fine.
The next section of the form suggests a dr signs separately - this is the sticking point.

 

[SooperCooperb4]

Hello @SooperCooperb4. Welcome to Dementia Talking Point.

When I wanted Power of Attorney for my husband, the solicitor spoke to my husband seperately to ensure my husband knew what he was signing.

Perhaps you could point this out to your wife`s doctor

It`s a bit tough after 51 years of marriage to be told you don`t understand what your wife does and does not understand. After all you are living with her 24/7.

Worst case scenario I suppose the doctor has to cover their back.

 

[SooperCooperb4]

I'm going to try another dr.

 

[Linsac]

I'm going to try another dr.

I have the form in front of me and am unsure where you mean when it says

A neighbour has witnessed my wife signing, that was fine.
The next section of the form suggests a dr signs separately - this is the sticking point.

I have the form in front of me, I am unsure where you mean when you say the next section suggests a Dr signs? Do you mean the certificate provider section? In which case, it does say it can be a GP but also says it can be a friend or neighbour as long as they have known the donor for over 2 years.

 

[Shedrech]

Hello @SooperCooperb4
welcome to DTP

you only mention LPA for health and welfare .... I assume LPA for finance and property has a lready been completed, if not, get that as well .... and for your yourself as well as your wife, just in case

the members are correct, you do not need to have a GP or any professional as certificate provider - it is either a friend etc or a doctor etc, not both

from the Gov site:

Who can be a certificate provider?
A certificate provider must be at least 18 years old and either:

• a friend, colleague or someone you’ve known well for at least two years – they must be more than just an acquaintance
• your doctor or lawyer or someone with the professional skills to judge whether you understand what you’re doing and are not being forced to make an LPA

‘People to notify’ can be certificate providers.

There are quite a lot of people who can’t be a certificate provider – for example, members of your family or your attorneys’ families. There’s a fuller list below.

The certificate provider must sign after you and can sign on the same day as you (the donor) or as soon as possible afterwards.

Someone who has known you well for at least two years
You should ask a friend or neighbour, someone from your social or sports club, a work colleague, or similar. They must have known you well for at least two years. They must know you well enough to have an honest conversation with you about making your LPA and the things they have to confirm when they sign the LPA.

If possible, they should discuss your LPA with you in private, without attorneys or other people present, before they sign to ‘certify’ their part of the LPA.

 

[SooperCooperb4]

I have the form in front of me and am unsure where you mean when it says


I have the form in front of me, I am unsure where you mean when you say the next section suggests a Dr signs? Do you mean the certificate provider section? In which case, it does say it can be a GP but also says it can be a friend or neighbour as long as they have known the donor for over 2 years.

 

[SooperCooperb4]

OK.
I am going to rescue the forms from the dr and get someone else to do the cert provider section!

 

[SooperCooperb4]

Thank you all for the good advice.

 

[Duggies-girl]

Good choice @SooperCooperb4 It is much simpler and will probably only cost you a cup pf tea and some biscuits. Keep posting as there are a lot of very helpful members on here who are always willing to help.

 

[SooperCooperb4]

After a ghastly week, our pastor at church has signed, and form is now posted.
DWP carers form also posted.
Still awaiting an apologetic reply from practice manager re my strong complaint/emotional tirade against the surgery. They seem to be using social services!, and dementia carers to bypass me in the meanwhile, and seem to wish me to take duty of care & responsibility now for medication for my own wife!....
wishing for a 'better' surgery, who are prepared to support& communicate better than this......

 

[canary]

Im so glad you have got the POA forms sorted. That will be a big advantage

 

[Lucy44]

That's great news you sorted the POA form , that;s one less thing to worry about and now gives you more say.
I hope the surgery will be in touch and can give you all the support you need.

 

[lollyc]

I get so annoyed at seeing post after post of people being told rubbish by
"the professionals". Thank goodness for the experience and sensible advice from the Talking Point folks!
Dealing with dementia is a lonely, difficult road, littered with rubbish. Wouldn't it be nice if, just for once, someone made sure that you knew what you could do to make the situation a little easier? POA, attendance allowance, advance decision, DNAR...... But no! Let's make these carers suffer a bit more, and make their lives a difficult as possible.

What happens to those who don't "do" internet? They get nothing, they pay for deputies and have no say about anything to do with their loved one.

 

[deepetshopboy]

I get so annoyed at seeing post after post of people being told rubbish by
"the professionals". Thank goodness for the experience and sensible advice from the Talking Point folks!
Dealing with dementia is a lonely, difficult road, littered with rubbish. Wouldn't it be nice if, just for once, someone made sure that you knew what you could do to make the situation a little easier? POA, attendance allowance, advance decision, DNAR...... But no! Let's make these carers suffer a bit more, and make their lives a difficult as possible.

What happens to those who don't "do" internet? They get nothing, they pay for deputies and have no say about anything to do with their loved one.

Agree nobody but nobody of these-so called experts help with knowledge or advice i could swear that they dont want you to know anything about dementia as a carer of pwd ! Everything in the last 4 yrs ive learnt from self help books or books wrote by carers on their experience or from this Alzheimer’s forum god help those who cannot use the Internet.social services no good nor has gp in given any advice and if someone from the professionals tell me for the millionth time do i know about utis i will scream