i am dealing with it re drink

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by bel, May 1, 2008.

  1. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    its wrong i know
    and i need to hold my hands up
    i have asked for counciling waiting hope they hurry up
    love bel x
  2. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    Do you mean a rethink, OR DRINK?

    Please clarify
    Love Barb X
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    bel, if it helps I don`t blame you. Just be careful. It won`t help your arthritis.
    Love xx
  4. CraigC

    CraigC Registered User

    Mar 21, 2003
    Hi Bel, if you are saying what you I think you are saying well done. This is the first and most important step! Well done!
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Stay strong, bel. I know how hard it is for you to cope with Bob as he is at the moment, and having to deal with all the different people who should be helping you but aren't. and the shop to run as well.

    You are doing so well, and we're all here to support you.

  6. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    Dear Bel,

    You deal so well with all life throws at you even though you may not see it that way. Bob is so lucky to have you on his side.

    I hope that the help you seek comes quickly your way.

    Caring thoughts, Taffy.
  7. Cliff

    Cliff Registered User

    Jun 29, 2007
    North Wales
    #7 Cliff, May 4, 2008
    Last edited: May 4, 2008
    Dear Bel,

    That was a very courageous post.

    You have shown yourself to be a loving carer and Bob is very lucky to have you.

    Stay strong Bel, it isn't easy.

    Love to you both
  8. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    drinking thanks so much for your support

    it was so hard to admit it to you
    i have 1 bottle of wine at night from 9-11
    it helps me blank out the day with bob and all the other sh i have disfunctioal family etc i feel the biggest load of sh going
    you are right sylvi drink makes arthritus worse
    i am going for what i thought was a scan tommorrow re operation on at least my thumbs releif from pain
    i dont think it is had to chase chase again and again consultant since new year i am in to see him in out patients wil he do the scan there of course not he has let me down a few times and i have paid private up till now so its not the money i think he has his own set of problems but come tommorw i will say i am in so much pain love bel x
  9. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Dear Bel,
    You are very brave regarding the drink and I admire you for that.
    I wish you all the best for tomorrow.
    Then you can have a virtual drink with your virtual friends.
    Although I am not allowed alcohol due to lots of medication, I raise a cup of tea to you.
    Love from
  10. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    Thank you for shareing

    Hi Bel
    I know, my spelling is Cr--, is there an e in shareing ?
    Here if you need us
    Barb & Ron X
  11. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    East Midlands
    Dear Bel,

    Your posts have always been an inspiration to me..:)

    Oh how I identify with that!

    Drink makes you feel better for a while..but doesn't solve the problems.
    I wish you well for tomorrow.. You are a strong and wonderful person..I read that in your posts!

    You're not alone..we're all here for you, Bel.

    Love gigi xx
  12. May

    May Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005

    You are one brave and feisty lady, stay strong.
    I second Craig's comment, good luck and well done! we're all here for you.
  13. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    North Derbyshire
    Dear Bel

    You aren't the first, and you won't be the last, to resort to drink to "help" with problems. I do it too, and it is a bottle of wine - minimum. And over a long period. It seems to be some sort of habit I have got into - I have a stressful day, a couple of stressful phone calls, and the automatic reaction is, a glass of wine. Or three. To me it is a sign that I am "off duty", like you are when you are on holiday.

    You are not on your own, and as others have said, congratulations in admitting it and realising it is a problem. I am a dry white wine drinker, and have found that lime juice has a reasonably similar taste, whether with water or with soda, and that has helped me to cut down from the two bottles some nights to one, and I'm hoping to extend it to half a bottle and none. Don't know if that idea will appeal to you.

    The big question is are you an alcholic, and I am not sure what that means. No, I don't need a drink to function, I never drink in the day, I don't drink spirits EVER, I just drink too much wine in the evening. So Im not an alcoholic but I drink too much. Same effect really, it is a problem. Makes me tired, causes lack of concentration, rots the liver, does nobody any good.

    Another piece of advice if you don't mind me butting in, and do excuse my crass approach, cos owning up to your difficulty is probably enough for you to deal with without me pitching in, but NEVER buy a wine box. With a wine box you don't know how much you have drunk. Bottles might not reduce your intake, but at least you know what you have gone through.

    Sorry if I've gone over the top, but just to say you aren't on your own, and I am so proud of you for mentioning it.

    Let us know how you cope with cutting down.

    You will notice there hasn't been any criticism of you - suspect there might be a few more of us in the same boat.

    Good luck, and I've just swapped my last glass of wine for a lime juice.

    Much love

  14. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    Dear Bel,

    Good luck with your appt tomorrow and I hope it all goes in your favour. Love Taffy.
  15. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear bel.
    Please let us know how you get on with the consultant. I know how alone you feel, but at least you have the whole of TP behind you.
    Love xx
  16. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    #16 Margarita, May 6, 2008
    Last edited: May 6, 2008
    I know what you mean, glass wine does seem to help me forget for a while , I love wine dry white. I got to be careful because I sometime get the feeling that I could drink glass white during the day to take away the stress I am feeling of trying to cope, when I know I am not coping .
    So I try to stick to wine on Thursday that take me into Sunday , while my daughter tell me that I should not be drinking during the day , will its the weekend I tell her & if I am not careful Thursday will come sooner it be Monday .

    Where last night I finally told my daughter who studying to be a social worker what happen on Friday with a social worker that came around, how intimidating he was towards me .

    She had me on the phone this morning making a complaint about him, to the manger of social services; she took over from the conversation I was having with her. Turn out that he will have no more contact with our family (my mother case) and them getting me a woman social worker.

    They also like me to put it all in writing with the help of my daughter if we don’t mind. My daughter got the impression that they had completes before from this man but no take it further.

    Since carrying for my mother , I have never taken the courage for standing up for myself , it’s like my self esteem has gone .
    My daughter tell me that social worker , should be empowering me not demoralizing me Just because I cannot cope any more caring

    You’re alone looking after your husband, if I never had my daughter to stand up for me I also would be drinking every night just to help me cope, also a glass during the day

    I also hope you have a good friend’s that encourage you empower you to seek outside help with your husband care to give you a break to look after your own health . Good luck I wish you well xx
  17. andrear

    andrear Registered User

    Feb 13, 2008
    Dear Bel and Margaret

    You both sound similar if you don't mind my saying and you are both very brave to admit to drinking.

    I like good red wine and didn't realise just how much I was drinking until January this year when I realised that I really couldn't say what I'd watched of an evening. That just had to stop. Also I need to be able to drive early in the monrings.
    So, I eecided to start to cut out slowly, one glass of wine, then one glass of a soft drink of a similar colour. Today, I don't drink other than the odd glass on a weekend and thats mainly at lunch time.

    For me, I realised, that I actually enjoyed holding the wine glass in my hand rather than enjoying the contents. And so now when I put out our evening meal its with a soft drink in a wine glass. OK it doesn't help to take your troubles away but neither in fact does the wine.

    I sleep better and feel more focussed than I did before. And the amount of calories consumed per week is just amazing.
    So good on you both.
  18. hendy

    hendy Registered User

    Feb 20, 2008
    West Yorkshire
    #18 hendy, May 6, 2008
    Last edited: May 6, 2008
    Dear Bel
    You are such a brave person. I know you probably dont feel it. I only drink socially now, but I went through a bad patch when the pain and anguish was too much to bear. I was up to a bottle (or more) a night. it began to make me ill and now i drink only in moderation. The horrors of this disease(dementia) can never be underestimated. You have your own health problems and this makes everyhting else harder to live with. Speaking from experience, sometimes when you are in great physical pain, alcohol is the best pain relief going, even one glass works better than any shot of prescribed morphine.But it will make you even more ill in the end. I hope all goes well with your appointment for a scan.
    take care
  19. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    Thanks Thanks And More Thanks

    before i start rambling on about hospital today
    can i just say all of your support and replies i cant beleive i have felt so alone for such a long time and then to tell you all i am coping with drink and you not to dis own me is amazing
    i never had much of a family life while growing up but i feel like you understand and IF I CAN THINK OF YOU AS MY FAMILY
    closed shop put note on door back in i hour 3 hours later --i am worried 2 customers to collect items from shop eventualy got to see specialist i said i cant function and stand the pain any more i was near to tears so i hung on a minuite he said you need xrays re surgery i said yes thats what i have been waiting for i said i will pay private i feel he knew he had not followed up as he should have so he sent me to x ray on thumbs straight away back to see him in clinic i need op on hands refering to surgen mri on hip not even been sent off he did it when i was there love bel x
  20. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    About time too bel. You have really been neglected.

    I hope you will now get the treatment you need and deserve, and no more silly talk about people on TP disowning you. You have no idea how much everyone admires you.

    Love xx

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