I am confused

[fizzbomb]

My mam has mixed dementia( AD and vascular), and her deterioration in the 20 months since she was diagnosed has been quite phenomenal!. She moved into her current nursing home in September after 2 months in a psychiatric hospital due to aggression( a seperate, long story, the admission wasn't our choice, it was done by a previous care home)
Anyway, when she went into her current care home she was walking, shouting, and aggressive. I have to say I have nothing but praise for the home she is in, they are a dementia home, and they are really good. But since her move, things have deteriorated very quickly.

After issues with aggression, she started to settle a bit, and then almost out of the blue, she didn't want to walk any more. This happened around the beginning of December.They couldn't get her to walk, when she did she was almost bent over double( she has had some instances of walking like this in the past) And she stopped feeding herself and had to be fed.She has been having hallucinations for quite a few months now, since before she went in the home, and these got much worse.She sort of retreated into her own world,but was happy there. She then developed a chest infection, which made her confusion even worse, and had to have bed rest for a couple of days and antibiotics.
Then 2 weeks before Christmas, she developed a blood clot in her leg, we think after a mini stroke. After a short stay in hospital, she went back to the home, and a week later she had another mini stroke. This one was worse, and it took a couple of weeks to start to recover, but she has done. She is watching TV, the first time in months that she has taken an interest in it, she is looking at books again(she loves the photos of cute kittens and puppies) she is brighter, and chatty again, and is actually interacting with people a bit, although she still doesn't understand much of what is going on around her. However now she can't walk,has to be fed, and all her care has to be done for her.
She has now started to become angry and frightened again. A carer said now that she can't walk or do things for herself, she has moments of panic. On my last visit a week ago she was shouting at other residents,was frustrated, and frightened and crying a lot. She is now in the intensive side of the home as she can't do anything for herself. I am obviously happy that she is better than she was a month or so ago,but when she was more confused, she knew less about her environment, and was actually happier. She now becomes upset and angry when other residents shout out, or make strange noises
I find this disease so difficult to comprehend. When she was in her own world she was happier, if that makes sense. She didn't know anything really that was going on around her and was actually more content. It feels as though I am saying I want her to be more confused, which believe me I don't, I just can't bear the thought that she is frightened. I am sorry if I am not making sense, or if this sounds awful,writing this is difficult, it feels like I am betraying her by even thinking these things, let alone putting them down in writing!
I am so grateful and happy that she has recovered from the blood clot and mini strokes, and there has been a small improvement in her cognition, for however long it lasts. The thing that I hate is that this improvement has made her more aware and therefore scared. And I live a distance from her so can't get to see her often, so I have a contstant fear she is frightened and lonely

 

[marmarlade]

hubby has been in care nearly a year he is still capable of walking about and feeding himself.but the hullucintions where there before he went into care and they have not improved since, he tells me there has been fights someone was put into water a man keeps coming into his room[this could be a carer] he shows me the wall he builds every day, some brought a horse into the lounge,and any thing else he thinks of,i wouldnt worry about these as they seem to be harmless.He to was afraid to be left on his own when at home,and when he went into care would not stop in his room at nights and would panic if he couldnt see some one. i know this isnt really like your sitution but the dementia does all these things and we can only go along with what they can see,ive found by agreeing with what he tells me things go a bit more smoothly.keep coming on to talking point there is always some to listen and reply even if it doesnt help

 

[Quilty]

Its only natural that you don't want to see your Mum frightened. Its possible that the TIAs impacted her memory and she has now recovered a little. Its also possible she could have an infection. My Mum goes loopy when she has one.

 

[fizzbomb]

Thanks for your replies, it's so nice to be able to say things and know that I'm not alone in the thoughts and feelings this awful disease brings about..
I reckon too that it must have been the lead up to the tias and her chest infection that caused the rapid decline over the last couple of months. She's been tested for uti and doesn't have one.
I too find that going along with the hallucinations is the best thing, she doesn't really have nasty ones, mostly it's seeing objects or people . She just has full conversations with people who aren't there, and sees things.
The illness is certainly inventive