I am a caregiver for my Mother

marmill

Registered User
Nov 20, 2013
1
0
My Mother lives in Toronto in her house alone, I live out of town approx 1 hr away and try to get down as much as possible with her especially for doctor etc appointments. I call her every morning to see how she is doing what she is doing for the day. I have noticed for about the last month that there is a anger beginning in her converstations that was starting to worry me. Than she was starting to say that people are stealing from her including her family which we are not. I mentioned to her that I would like for her to go into a retirement home up in my area so I could visit more often and not worry about her living by herself. She now does not trust me at all and thinks I am trying to commit her. I am trying to keep my patience but it is very difficult.
Any suggestions please!
 

nellbelles

Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
9,842
0
leicester
Marmill, welcome to Talking Point, I am sorry you are in a position where you need help.

I have no experience of the care system in Canada, but we have members there, and I'm sure one will be able to give you advice on that.

With regards to the accusations, mistrust and the paranoia of thefts, can you try distractions (small white lies)?

I tell my husband he has put things in a safe place and I will help him look for them later.

I hope we can help, but patience is a bit low here for us to share with you:D

Helen x
 

jaymor

Registered User
Jul 14, 2006
15,604
0
South Staffordshire
Hello Marmill and welcome.

Your Mother is displaying many of the effects of dementia that we all do. The loosing of things, the accusations of stealing, the not trusting, unfortunately very common but no less upsetting.

Just try not to contradict her or tell her she is wrong because it makes matters worse and hen you will get even more nastiness directed at you.

As Helen says, try the little white lie way. After hearing the same question 20 times from my husband I would say I had forgotten too, give me a few minutes to think and I would remember. Easier on me, I got a breathing space and hopefully he did not feel so bad because I had forgotten too.

It really is trial and error and it must be so much more difficult for you when you are caring from a distance. Hopefully she will respond more favorably soon to moving a little closer to you.

Take care and keep posting,


Jay