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I’m worried the council will throw us out of our house

Lozzy&Barry

New member
Feb 13, 2021
5
0
Dads having a few paranoid times now im having to lock the doors for his safety (he has no idea where the toilet it no mind outside) being locked in now permanently inbetween daily trips out he’s not happy. Dad is banging the doors slamming the windows trying his best to break the window restrictors I had put on off and escape. Social services are aware and we have a best interest order so it’s legal to keep him safe and deprive him of his liberty.

This morning it was 7-15 am I had to go to the bedroom and lock myself in cos he was getting very aggressive because I woudnt let him out and he attempted to punch me in anger. ( So I go to a safe place). But my neighbours were disturbed can they complain as we don’t really get on and get us thrown out of our council disabled bungalow as it’s my home not my dads bungalow and I’m worried about loosing my home x I’m managing the situation quite well considering I’m on my own with no support x (just have daycare three days a week10-4-15). Council are aware dad lives here and has denture.

Can anyone advise me please ? Put my mind at rest

Thank you
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
4,836
0
Nottinghamshire
Hi @Lozzy&Barry , welcome to Dementia Talking Point.
You are doing an amazing job trying to keep your dad safe, but in the end looking after someone with dementia gets too much for one person. I know this is not what you want to hear, but I think now is the time for your dad to move to a care home where there are people on hand 24/7 to care for him. I know it might sounds counter-intuitive, but phone the police when you have to get away from your dad for your own safety. They can get the emergency mental health team on board and get your dad the help he needs.
As for losing your home, this sounds like something you need to talk to social services and the council. You will also get good advice on the Support Line Phone 0333 150 3456 or email dementia.connect@alzheimers.org.uk
I'm sure others with more experience of such things will be along with their suggestions very soon.
 

GillP

Registered User
Aug 11, 2021
1,405
0
I am not sure about your housing situation although I think they would need to issue warnings etc. I am sure that it is not an easy thing to do.

Also of concern is the aggression towards you. If you are having to lock yourself away it must be severe. You need to have some medical intervention. Perhaps contact the GP for a referral to Mental Health Crisis Team? You need to stay safe. Take care.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
11,666
0
Southampton
Dads having a few paranoid times now im having to lock the doors for his safety (he has no idea where the toilet it no mind outside) being locked in now permanently inbetween daily trips out he’s not happy. Dad is banging the doors slamming the windows trying his best to break the window restrictors I had put on off and escape. Social services are aware and we have a best interest order so it’s legal to keep him safe and deprive him of his liberty.

This morning it was 7-15 am I had to go to the bedroom and lock myself in cos he was getting very aggressive because I woudnt let him out and he attempted to punch me in anger. ( So I go to a safe place). But my neighbours were disturbed can they complain as we don’t really get on and get us thrown out of our council disabled bungalow as it’s my home not my dads bungalow and I’m worried about loosing my home x I’m managing the situation quite well considering I’m on my own with no support x (just have daycare three days a week10-4-15). Council are aware dad lives here and has denture.

Can anyone advise me please ? Put my mind at rest

Thank you
until you have dols then you could be said as trapping him in. im wondering if a carehome/ carers should be put in place as its a lot for you to cope with. i dont think the council will evict you as it really takes a lot for that to happen but they may offer help to solve the situation. its probably scary for the neighbours to listen to. you shouldnt need a safe place as you shouldnt be dealing with that level of aggression. if it happens again, phone police who are very good at dealing with this situation. maybe a word with the gp and/or referral to mental health to see if there is anything that might calm him down
 

Lozzy&Barry

New member
Feb 13, 2021
5
0
I am not sure about your housing situation although I think they would need to issue warnings etc. I am sure that it is not an easy thing to do.

Also of concern is the aggression towards you. If you are having to lock yourself away it must be severe. You need to have some medical intervention. Perhaps contact the GP for a referral to Mental Health Crisis Team? You need to stay safe. Take care.
I’m fairly safe thankfully because I don’t take any risks if he starts showing aggressive behaviour I retreat to a safe place.
He gets angry with the situation we’re in and hates the doors being locked normally he’s fine we go out every day nice places - and have plenty of fun in the now it’s just me getting sleep I sometimes am
Too tired to talk to him every 15 minutes from 4am and I have to ignore him because im an On my own carer. And he needs to go out every day and I need to drive to do that as I’m disabled so I Can’t be awake and have 0 sleep. It’s if I don’t reply when he talks to me he gets anxious and then paranoid and then that’s when it’s happenning. Recently escaped over the back fence so while the council higher it he’s restricted to being inside on his own he did have the garden too you see while it was a safe area. Trouble being he’s so fit for 81 he swims 30 Lengths x3 times a week no arthritis he’s much fitter than I am at 59. Plus he doesn’t realise there’s anything wrong with him because ya can’t see mental illness. So doesn’t want to be restricted in his movements.
It’s a hard one bless him x
He’s one very loved Dad x
 

Lozzy&Barry

New member
Feb 13, 2021
5
0
until you have dols then you could be said as trapping him in. im wondering if a carehome/ carers should be put in place as its a lot for you to cope with. i dont think the council will evict you as it really takes a lot for that to happen but they may offer help to solve the situation. its probably scary for the neighbours to listen to. you shouldnt need a safe place as you shouldnt be dealing with that level of aggression. if it happens again, phone police who are very good at dealing with this situation. maybe a word with the gp and/or referral to mental health to see if there is anything that might calm him down
I have been through the social services requesting a dols with my Drs support but they didn’t think it was necessary so they did a capasity assessment and a best interest order for me in order to be able
To detain him against his will for his own safety when needed so it’s legsl
Now if he’s not settled to keep him safely at home
 

Lozzy&Barry

New member
Feb 13, 2021
5
0
I did a dementia Alzheimer’s society course on zoom which has helped me understand much more about it knowledge it good x

Thank you