Hello everybody, I’m in serious need of some guidance. My mother has FTD, although she claims there is nothing wrong with her,. She was living in a flat with carers but it soon became apparent that this wasn’t able to sustain this as she was a danger to herself and other residents. She accused carers of stealing, she accused me of stealing. In fact I was public enemy number one. She was causing problems with her mood swings. In November 2017 a ‘best interest’ meeting was held and it was decided unanimously that my mother lacked mental capacity, and needed full time residential care. I agreed as I wanted her to be safe in her surroundings. Her social worker and myself then started to find somewhere suitable, I visited some not very nice places, but I knew of a new care home where my mother and myself had lived for over 60 years, with her favourite ever views of the surrounding area. It was new, clean and like a 5 star hotel... it had my mother’s name written all over it.. I knew she wouldn’t be totally happy there, as it wasn’t her flat. She has had a DOls in place more or less since she’s been a resident, sometimes I’ve had to really fight for this, as you just knew she was going to be ok on the day the visit was taking place. Her moods and aggression are now ten times worse, the home completes a behaviour record daily, she scares the other residents, and just generally causes mayhem, she’s really rude to carers, and no matter where she has been there is always a ‘victim’ carer who is nasty to her, trying to poison her, won’t have any tea etc made for her, because everyone is out to get her. She says that none of the other residents like her.. which is a load of rubbish. So she eats alone in her room. The last time she went out with the home, she tried to get out of the car whilst it was w moving. Last time I took her shopping, she was so rude, it was so embarrassing. I can’t bring her to my house, as she’s now decided that she hates my husband, who has been so good to her in the past..Everything has been ok, I just take every day as it comes, if Mum is bad I don’t stay around for long, as it makes her worse. Then on my visits she started taking about this very nice lady coming to see her, it was actually an advocate, who started telling my Mother she could do whatever she wants, she can get her moved back into a flat tomorrow, she said she had about six properties that would be suitable for her, of course my Mother is believing every word, and when I challenged it saying it wasn’t actually correct, of course I’m the devils advocate. I eventually tracked down the advocate, and confronted her, she said it wasn’t true, in the conversation she said by the way I’m helping your mother go to the Court of Protection, paid for by legal aid, I did go a bit mad, she says my mother isn’t happy where she is, and a DOls should not be in place so she can go out shopping , in town . I said my mum won’t be happy wherever she is, and if you let her out on her own she’d end up killing herself as she would be totally disorientated. She replied that I didn’t obviously know my mum I was so angry. The solicitor went to see my mum without my knowledge, my mum claims that the carers are abusing her mentally and physically, and my husband tried to kill her in her flat .., totally untrue on both counts! I’ve complained to the advocates employer, but was told the advocate is following procedure. My mother would be suicidal in another old residential home. I need help... she might be following procedures, but how about a bit of common sense, surely she should have read all the old notes, surely we should have had an informal meeting before going to court. My mother doesn’t speak to me know, she’s taken my mother away from me... I’m heartbroken!