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I´m not sure what stage my mum is at?

Violeta

Registered User
May 31, 2020
11
Hello all,

This might sound like a silly question but how do I know what stage my mum is at? She was diagnosed with dementia, most likely she was told, Alzheimer´s Disease, 4 years ago and moved into a care home last summer after she could no longer look after herself in her home (even with daily carers).

To explain a bit more, her care home have recently told us that mum´s become incontinent in the daytime as well as night (it used to be just at night) and she can no longer have conversations over the phone with me. She drifts off mid conversation, after say 2 or 3 minutes, and lets the phone drop and walks away.

In person, well the last time I saw mum in person was before the Covid19 crisis so back in the winter, and at that point she still recognised me although she gets confused as to who I am exactly (her mum or sister sometimes) and seemed to enjoy our company when we visited although conversations are like speaking to someone who´s drunk when you´re sober, if that makes sense?!

Thanks for reading.

Violeta
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,531
cornwall
Hello all,

This might sound like a silly question but how do I know what stage my mum is at? She was diagnosed with dementia, most likely she was told, Alzheimer´s Disease, 4 years ago and moved into a care home last summer after she could no longer look after herself in her home (even with daily carers).

To explain a bit more, her care home have recently told us that mum´s become incontinent in the daytime as well as night (it used to be just at night) and she can no longer have conversations over the phone with me. She drifts off mid conversation, after say 2 or 3 minutes, and lets the phone drop and walks away.

In person, well the last time I saw mum in person was before the Covid19 crisis so back in the winter, and at that point she still recognised me although she gets confused as to who I am exactly (her mum or sister sometimes) and seemed to enjoy our company when we visited although conversations are like speaking to someone who´s drunk when you´re sober, if that makes sense?!

Thanks for reading.

Violeta
Hi. The only way I can compare is that my dad has Vascular Dementia and is now in the moderate stage. Dad is occasionally incontinent of no 2 as he has a permanent catheter. He sometimes makes no sense in conversation and is difficult to follow.I hope this helps.
 

Violeta

Registered User
May 31, 2020
11
Thank you for your prompt reply, TNJJ, I appreciate it. It is difficult to compare diagnoses and to compare family members with dementia but it is helpful to read of your experience too. I am sorry to read about your dad.

My mum was diagnosed, after lots of struggles to get her to go to the dr etc, 4 years ago when she was 68 so quite young but there´d been signs of early memory loss/repetition etc from about 2012 so a while now.
 
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Violeta

Registered User
May 31, 2020
11
Do you think I should ask mum´s care home what their opinion is? I know they have a dr who regularly visits to assess all residents there although visits are probably fewer at the moment due to Covid19.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,614
South coast
You might find this link helpful
Nothing with dementia is absolute, many people with dementia straddle the stages and the time line may not correspond, but it will give you an idea of where your mum is.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
287
different dementias have different causes and the course of them is different as well eg alzheimers tends to be a gradual decline where as vascular tends to go down in steps. every person is different as well. i manage care in the present as it comes along. i dont think of the future as i dont know how it would be
 

Violeta

Registered User
May 31, 2020
11
Thank you, Canary, that is really helpful reading. Having read through all of the stages and symptoms, I think my mum´s at stage 6 of AD - moderately severe. Sobering reading but better to be informed I think overall.

I take your point Jennifer but I wanted to have more knowledge and understanding of where my mum is now in terms of her AD. Of course, I appreciate that each person is different and might not follow the stages textbook style. Still useful to have more idea than I did though.
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,165
Victoria, Australia
Thank you, Canary, that is really helpful reading. Having read through all of the stages and symptoms, I think my mum´s at stage 6 of AD - moderately severe. Sobering reading but better to be informed I think overall.

I take your point Jennifer but I wanted to have more knowledge and understanding of where my mum is now in terms of her AD. Of course, I appreciate that each person is different and might not follow the stages textbook style. Still useful to have more idea than I did though.
Even with Alzheimer's, they are now finding that though many patients follow in much the same pathways, there are differing sub types of this disease.

My husband was diagnosed almost 6 years ago with Alzheimer's after lots of in depth testing, 6 monthly reviews and follow ups at the memory clinic.. However, he bears very little resemblance to other people with Alzheimer's and doesn't fit any of the stages. The most appropriate diagnosis was of 'non amnesiac' Alzheimer's as his short term memory is failing slowly but he has no recollection of the first thirty years of his life. So he is quite a high functioning individual but with a distinct set of problems.

At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. My experience of being his carer hasn't been as dreadful as some others but it has brought its own special problems and as he declines slowly and as we both get older, we will have other issues to face.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
287
Thank you, Canary, that is really helpful reading. Having read through all of the stages and symptoms, I think my mum´s at stage 6 of AD - moderately severe. Sobering reading but better to be informed I think overall.

I take your point Jennifer but I wanted to have more knowledge and understanding of where my mum is now in terms of her AD. Of course, I appreciate that each person is different and might not follow the stages textbook style. Still useful to have more idea than I did though.
just thought now you know where you are with your mum focus on now today look after yourself
 

Violeta

Registered User
May 31, 2020
11
Thanks for your reply and for sharing your and your husband´s experience, Lawson. I really didn´t know that about the different subtypes of AD. I think I have a lot more reading up on the subject to do!

Thank you to you too Jennifer. It´s hard isn´t it to properly relax and stop worrying, even though I know mum is being well looked after, and sometimes when I do something nice for myself, I can´t help but feel a little guilty or sidetracked with worries about my mum.