Dad 82 has mild mixed dementia.
Dad lives behind me and currently my brother is staying with him. He works long hours and shift work, so mainly just to sleep there.
He essentially reports to me any issues.
Dads cognition, behaviours & understanding are worse than actual memory.
He does not wander, hallucinate or have delusions ( confabulates yes)
So current issues are:
wearing same clothes day in day out, but he will change them of his own accord when going out or grocery shopping, but these will have been worn and worn, so he often smells.
Surprisingly he does know how to use the washing machine.
I have to nag him to change his clothes, he laughs it off, so if I raise my voice he knows I mean it and will.
I am not able to put out clean clothes in the morning or night.
Occassionaly I will do a big sweep of clothes lying in his room and wash them.
Does not brush his teeth or soak his dentures like he used to, but will swear he does.
Washes dirty underwear in the bathroom sink and I have no idea how often he changes them. .
Has taken to peeing in a plastic container at night, so I bought him a urinal bottle, waterproof mat beside his bed and he already has a waterproof mattress on his bed.
I dont know why hes doing this...
when asked he said he didnt want to wake my brother at night going to the loo , but on the odd night my brothers not there he still does it.
I dont feel its an incontinence thing as I can be out with Dad 3-4 hrs and he doesnt go once.
When he does its not as if he urgently needs to go.
He is starting to make a mess when going to the loo, urine on the floor, poo on the toilet seat or on the door handle or light switch.
I dont think hes taking much care at all and often why he smells of urine.
This by far is the biggest problem.
If I took him to his GP he would deny anything and there is no way on earth he would see an incontinence nurse.
He is such a prude when it comes to bodily functions I could never even begin to talk to him about inco pants or products, he certainly wouldnt talk to my brother about it either... they dont actually have a good relationship.
Dad does have a bath every day, its a life long habit. We put the soap in a different spot now and again so we can tell if hes using soap at least.
Because my brother lives with him Dad doesnt qualify for any home care or personal care and he hates strangers in his house so much he wouldnt agree to it anyway.
Were not from the UK.
Feel like im on a losing battle here but if anyone has any ideas Id be grateful.
Dads GP is not much help but Im contacting our Dementia Team next week.
Dad lives behind me and currently my brother is staying with him. He works long hours and shift work, so mainly just to sleep there.
He essentially reports to me any issues.
Dads cognition, behaviours & understanding are worse than actual memory.
He does not wander, hallucinate or have delusions ( confabulates yes)
So current issues are:
wearing same clothes day in day out, but he will change them of his own accord when going out or grocery shopping, but these will have been worn and worn, so he often smells.
Surprisingly he does know how to use the washing machine.
I have to nag him to change his clothes, he laughs it off, so if I raise my voice he knows I mean it and will.
I am not able to put out clean clothes in the morning or night.
Occassionaly I will do a big sweep of clothes lying in his room and wash them.
Does not brush his teeth or soak his dentures like he used to, but will swear he does.
Washes dirty underwear in the bathroom sink and I have no idea how often he changes them. .
Has taken to peeing in a plastic container at night, so I bought him a urinal bottle, waterproof mat beside his bed and he already has a waterproof mattress on his bed.
I dont know why hes doing this...
when asked he said he didnt want to wake my brother at night going to the loo , but on the odd night my brothers not there he still does it.
I dont feel its an incontinence thing as I can be out with Dad 3-4 hrs and he doesnt go once.
When he does its not as if he urgently needs to go.
He is starting to make a mess when going to the loo, urine on the floor, poo on the toilet seat or on the door handle or light switch.
I dont think hes taking much care at all and often why he smells of urine.
This by far is the biggest problem.
If I took him to his GP he would deny anything and there is no way on earth he would see an incontinence nurse.
He is such a prude when it comes to bodily functions I could never even begin to talk to him about inco pants or products, he certainly wouldnt talk to my brother about it either... they dont actually have a good relationship.
Dad does have a bath every day, its a life long habit. We put the soap in a different spot now and again so we can tell if hes using soap at least.
Because my brother lives with him Dad doesnt qualify for any home care or personal care and he hates strangers in his house so much he wouldnt agree to it anyway.
Were not from the UK.
Feel like im on a losing battle here but if anyone has any ideas Id be grateful.
Dads GP is not much help but Im contacting our Dementia Team next week.
Last edited:
