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Husband sectioned after Christmas

Stacey sue

New member
Jan 24, 2020
3
My husband was sectioned after Christmas, he has deteriorated in the 5 weeks he has been in hospital.I feel so guilty for him being there, I would like him to come home but the aggression is scary. I am so torn and just want the best for him.He could shower dress shave and can not do any of that now.It makes me so sad.
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
10,865
Merseyside
My husband was sectioned after Christmas, he has deteriorated in the 5 weeks he has been in hospital.I feel so guilty for him being there, I would like him to come home but the aggression is scary. I am so torn and just want the best for him.He could shower dress shave and can not do any of that now.It makes me so sad.
Welcome to DTP @Stacey sue. Please keep posting as you’ll get lots of support here.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,651
Kent
My husband was sectioned after Christmas, he has deteriorated in the 5 weeks he has been in hospital.I feel so guilty for him being there, I would like him to come home but the aggression is scary. I am so torn and just want the best for him.He could shower dress shave and can not do any of that now.It makes me so sad.
I understand how upsetting the deterioration is @Stacey sue but it does seem inevitable once a person is in hospital care.

On the other hand you cannot be expected to live with aggression. It is too frightening.

My husband went into an assessment unit as a voluntary patient because I was frightened of his violence. I couldn`t bear to see him in such an institution so brought him home after 3 weeks.

Within a very short time I had to decide residential care was the best option for both of us. All I can suggest is while your husband is in hospital you spend your time looking for the best care home possible for him, just in case it will be what is needed when he is discharged.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
8,734
Yorkshire
hi @Stacey sue
a warm welcome from me too
so sorry you and your husband are having such a tough time
I do appreciate that hospital is not always the best place to be but no-one is sectioned without good cause and you can't be putting yourself and your husband at risk by being at home and dealing with aggression/violence; that's not fair on either of you
I tend to think that being in hospital highlights the situation, being out of the familiar environment where it can be easier to have blinkers on to troubling symptoms ... and the need for a hospital admission is because there's a decline brewing ... it certainly isn't the case that you have not done something that would have prevented it
I hope a residential placement is found for him soon so you can begin to find new routines safe and supportive for you both
 

LynneMcV

Volunteer Moderator
May 9, 2012
3,843
south-east London
Welcome to DTP @Stacey sue - I am sorry that you and your husband are going through such a distressing time.

I went through something similar with my husband. When he was first sectioned I felt guilty too - but the sectioning was a necessity due to the episodes of violence he had started to display towards me and our son.

I was in a very fortunate situation in that I was able to be with him many hours every day for the whole two months he was there. Due to that fact alone, I managed to continue to support him to shave and to guide him in his own personal hygiene - and I was able to make it clear to staff that they were not to automatically put him in incontinence wear as he was not incontinent.

I was so grateful that I had that amount of time available to be by his side because he would have quickly lost his abilities without my constant input. So many in there were not in as fortunate position as we were.

After two months and many tweaks to medication, the doctors eventually got my husband to a stage where he was able to return home to us - the aggression under control.

We enjoyed another two years at home together before the medication stopped working and the next crisis arose - this time displaying as aggression towards me and our daughter.

However, by this time he had progressed a lot further into the disease and no amount of tweaks to medication, nor me being constantly by his side, were enough to make a difference - and, after several months and further rapid deterioration, it was agreed that a nursing home would have to be the next step.

Having my husband sectioned for a second time absolutely broke my heart and, like you I felt guilty, that somehow I had let him down. However, I also knew that my husband would not have wanted to be a threat to either me or our son and daughter.

I have no doubt that your own husband would want nothing less for you, that he would want you to be safe - so please do not feel guilty. We find ourselves in these situations quite beyond our wishes or our control - all we can do is be their voice to make things as good as they can be in each situation.
 

Stacey sue

New member
Jan 24, 2020
3
Thankyou for your support and in put. My husband has deteriorated so much in hospital I don’t think I could cope with him at home.He is so heavily medicated in there and when we visit which is every day he is mostly asleep!! I have complained about this and they are looking into his meds??This whole journey is so heartbreaking, his deteriation is shocking! The community nurse went to see him and was also shocked! I just want him out of hospital as soon as possible .they have pushed for him to come home, I am in a huge turmoil???
 

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