husband refuses to see a dr

[Nanny1086]

Yes, the diagnosis would probably benefit you but as well as him. It is unlikely the GP will use those words and will handle the situation very carefully. They are used to it. Please take that first step and make an appointment explaining the difficulty to your GP if you can speak to them. Don't put off any longer, it will not go away. I know and have experienced a similar situation but don't try to handle it alone. Get help now. I guarantee you will not regret it.

thankyou

 

[Nanny1086]

Good, that's a start and I hope you get a satisfactory result. It's a pity you are having to wait as long for the video call. It may be worth just pushing a little bit to try to get an earlier appointment. Always worth a try and nothing to lose.

hi , thankyou for replying , the DR has been on holiday, and i know i can talk to her , so i’m prepared to wait , thanks again ,

 

[CatAM]

My husband would never admit there was a problem which makes it so much more difficult as he would not accept any help, he got very angry with the dr if memory problems were mentioned. I got round it by making separate appts, saying we were going to get our medication checked, I always went first and was able to explain to the Dr how things were. He was very understanding but not much he could do as my husband kept insisting there was nothing wrong. Any dr/consultant apps were so difficult as I could never explain the true situation. I felt this delayed his diagnonis. It's a very hard road, I hope your appt goes well.

 

[annieka 56]

hi , my husband is 80 in december , and for the past year he’s shown signs of dementia , he’s never been ill and has only been to drs for flu and covid vaccines , i know the logical thing is for him to see a dr ,, but he won’t go ,,,and he’s not the sort of man where you can say ” i think you need to see a dr as you are showing signs et etc , “ because he would flare up and refuse to accept it , and he wouldn’t take any medication, ,,,but just lately he’s become more difficult,, and says things like you didn’t tell me where you were going ,,, ( only more aggressively) but i know i did tell him ,,, he never ever swears but just lately he is , ,,, i can cope for now but my concern is ,,, where do i get help from in the future ,,, when his dr isnt even aware of the problem , ,,,,, i feel now like i’m going to be a prisoner in my home ,,max i’m afraid to leave him , he’s lost touch with all his mates over the years ,,, and it’s just been me my daughter and her family , ,,,, any advise will be gratefully recieved ,

 

[annieka 56]

If he is an ex-miner try telling him that the coal board has arranged for a checkup. It isn't true but nigh enough for pit work!

 

[annieka 56]

That's a good idea. My dad who passed away in 2014 was a former miner and refused to go the GP (didn't want to waste the time of that young lass who was probably 50 years old!!) But if it was anything mining related e.g. His lungs he would go. He didn't have dementia, he just got very old and worn out. Bless him.

 

[annieka 56]

My husband would never admit there was a problem which makes it so much more difficult as he would not accept any help, he got very angry with the dr if memory problems were mentioned. I got round it by making separate appts, saying we were going to get our medication checked, I always went first and was able to explain to the Dr how things were. He was very understanding but not much he could do as my husband kept insisting there was nothing wrong. Any dr/consultant apps were so difficult as I could never explain the true situation. I felt this delayed his diagnonis. It's a very hard road, I hope your appt goes well.

 

[annieka 56]

Phew, it's hard isn't it.
At my GP when we got him to attend, they did a standard Mini Memory Test that he was fine with twice.
My GP then concluded he was experiencing work related stress.
This went on for a long time.
The G P would not talk to me about his health and well being until it became a bit of a crisis then he was referred to Adult Mental Health Services. Before then the GP thought I was unhappy because I was doing everything and advised me that in every relationship one person takes on the most responsibility and it's often the woman....

I do hope you get somewhere soon with a diagnosis and more importantly with support and advice from your local services.
Sometimes you can find just the right person/agency then it reduces the burden.

 

[CatAM]

We eventually got a diagnosis, sadly he is now in a hospital specialist dementia unit getting the help and care he so needed.

 

[Izzy]

We eventually got a diagnosis, sadly he is now in a hospital specialist dementia unit getting the help and care he so needed.

I‘m so sorry to hear that but glad he is getting the care he needs. Wishing you strength.