Hi Shiloh
We are in a very similar situation to you. Hubby was diagnosed last summer with Alzheimer’s after two years of Memory Clinic visits, a scan etc. I knew there was something amiss for a few years previous to that. He withdrew into himself starting I’d say four years ago and bit by bit the diagnosis became no surprise to me. However, he’s at the stage now where he forgets most of what happens in the short term. So he actually forgets he’s been diagnosed with Alzheimers. I don’t remind him, because why? I simply refer to it as his ‘memory problem.’
Your mention of ‘death by a thousand cuts’ ran oh so true for me. Everyday I notice little things he now will not face, because love him, he cant do them any more.
For instance, he was an avid cyclist until a few weeks ago and since a flat tyre he wont look at the bike. I don’t think he can face trying to change the tyre. Also, things like accounts and where he puts things are a mystery. I now have to quietly undo any wrong filing and watch out for bills etc. OK, these are things that i should always have been doing, I suppose, but it’s the loss of our ‘jobs’ each of us were responsible for that show up the difference from before and what is to come. I’ll admit I am scared, sad and depressed with what the future will be.
But, if anywhere gives me hope, it’s this forum.
Someone will have been where we are. Someone always reaches out. And the advice to look after ourselves .... on here you will have actual pointers on how to do that. Remember, there is a point we all have where we can do no more. It may be years or weeks down the line, but there will never be any judgement here, only support.