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Husband not admitting there's a problem

Worried Wilma68

New member
Feb 1, 2022
5
0
It must be so hard when OH won't accept there is a problem. Living with someone with dementia is hard enough, but the verbal abuse and aggression is soul destroying and difficult to deal with. The only way I cope with it now is that I live in my bedroom mostly, ignore the jibes and insults, and don't ask for help with anything because it only sets him off. This has been a huge challenge for me - I usually fight my corner. But it has also meant that I am learning to lose the guilt and look after my own needs. Because OH can still be left alone I go out as much as possible and meet up with friends and our children. Because he has always been difficult, and rude to almost every one I know, he has no real friends, and because he has been abusive to me for many years now he has lost me too. It is sad but I tried for years to help him but you can't help someone who won't help themselves. I hope you can find a way of creating a life for yourself that you can enjoy
Thank you for your reply, I can relate so much to what you have sad. Take care of yourself to
 

Desperatejan23

Registered User
Dec 27, 2021
64
0
I am new to this forum I needed to see if anyone was going through similar things as I am with my husband and your post is very much the same. I went through dementia with my dad so I know what the signs are but I am dealing with a husband who has always been verbally aggressive and short tempered which my father never was. I have suspected that my OH was in the beginning Of dementia about 3 years ago and I feel he is declining slowly now. I saw an add on tv about dementia and thought this was my way of getting him to doctors when I mentioned it his response was diverted to me saying Yes I think you should go see about this problem. I knew then that I wasn’t going to get him to the doctors. We are both retired now and I am so sick of walking on egg shells with his aggressive behaviour due to his confusion and frustration over the small things.
 

Desperatejan23

Registered User
Dec 27, 2021
64
0
Hi, I can relate to the walking on eggshells. It's awful when you can't relax when they're around. I have to remove myself sometimes to another room or out for a walk, he is so infuriating. The last few years have been hell and have made me feel so low. Take care of yourself.
 

Andy2

Registered User
Feb 1, 2022
20
0
My 86 yr old mum is convinced when she went to the memory clinic the doctor told her, " I do not know why you are here, you have a better memory than me " now every time we try and talk to here regards illness she quotes the doctor, and tells us we are lying. But then 2 minutes later she cannot remember what she had for tea, but that doctor is right as far as she is concerned.
 

JaxG

Registered User
May 15, 2021
177
0
Hi, I can relate to the walking on eggshells. It's awful when you can't relax when they're around. I have to remove myself sometimes to another room or out for a walk, he is so infuriating. The last few years have been hell and have made me feel so low. Take care of yourself.
I do understand how you feel, it is a terrible way to live,. Every day I hope that this does not go on for too long.........
 

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