Newanne, it's sad that you have to give up the band but I think that it's the right decision in the circumstances. You will need to be very clear with the other band members that they are not to approach you if there are problems with your husband because getting involved causes both of you a great deal of distress. I would tell the band members that you know that your husband has some kind of problem which he refuses to face up to and that it is now time for them to appoint a new organiser. Be firm and tell them that they will have to speak to your husband about this. You have enough on your plate.