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husband newly diagnosed

Umbrellal

New member
Apr 10, 2020
1
I feel so lucky. My husband has been diagnosed with Alzheimers about 6 weeks ago. He hasnt changed at all yet. I'm delighted and hoping it will take a long time to really show I cant think of better way to say it. Is it same for everybody? Or does it get bad all of a sudden.?
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,174
Yorkshire
hello @Umbrellal
a warm welcome to DTP

Good to know that things are good for your husband and you

the progression is different for everyone, though is often gradual for those with Alzheimer's
the members here will offer good ideas and a listening ear, so keep posting with anything that's on your mind

I would suggest that you get Lasting Powers of Attorney in place for both of you, and have up to date wills
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
62,346
69
Dundee
I feel so lucky. My husband has been diagnosed with Alzheimers about 6 weeks ago. He hasnt changed at all yet. I'm delighted and hoping it will take a long time to really show I cant think of better way to say it. Is it same for everybody? Or does it get bad all of a sudden.?
Welcome from me too.

As Shedrech says the progression is different for everyone. My husband died 15 years after diagnosis and it was only in the last few years that the progression really speeded up. On the other hand I have friends who have husbands who progressed in their dementia really quickly.

I know that this is a cliche but you need to take it a day at a time. People on this forum will always be here to listen to you and support you.

There are lots of helpful resources available through this forum as well. When the time comes for you to need them someone will be here to point you in the right direction In the meantime this thread might be of interest to you as time goes by-

 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
20,639
North Manchester
There is a phrase 'when you have seen one person with dementia. you have seen one person with dementia'
Everybody is different, Izzy says 15 years after diagnosis , in my wife's case it was at best a third of this.
Izzy also advises 'take a day at a time' this is the best approach, keep posting your thoughts and you will get support.
 

Lemondrizzle

Registered User
Aug 26, 2018
69
At the end of the seven years from my MIL's diagnosis to her dying (and bearing in mind things hadn't been right before a formal diagnosis), we had a friend whose father became unwell, was officially diagnosed and died all in the space of 12 months. It was shocking for all as our experience had been a slow decline with peaks and troughs and all of a sudden we were supporting our friend with the same scenarios we had already lived through. You just cannot tell how things will be and there are other factors that can contribute to declines such as UTIs, falls and hospitalisation.

Stay safe and make the most of every day.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
360
my husband was diagnosed on march 9th with vasc. dementia but i knew a while before that. you wouldnt know he had it but i do and see changes. im not wonder woman or a miracle worker and need to know your limits.taking one day at a time dont think about the future no-one knows what that will be like and the most important keep your sense of humour. i treasure mine always
 

Whisperer

Registered User
Mar 27, 2017
154
Hampshire
As others have already said there are no hard and fast rules, no definite sign posts on the Dementia illness road. I have read threads where a person asks how many stages are there in the illness? I have seen talk of three stages, five, seven, etc. The truth is no two people have identical paths with this illness, but the more it develops certain issues arise for most sufferers. Uncertainty can lead to anxiety about the future, which can make caring all the harder.

Truth is no one can predict with accuracy what will happen and when. Best to take one day at a time, deal with what presents as opposed to worrying and wondering about tomorrow. Enjoy what you can, talk to yourself when confronted with uncomfortable feelings, remember many others are facing similar issues. Come to this forum for advice, help, support, just to let of steam if needed. I know it can be hard not to be concerned about the future but then look at Coronavirus. Came out of the blue, added new problems and who could have planned for it or predicted it. All we can do is muddle through, trying our best for loved ones and others. What Dementia was already demanding of us, but demonstrating best to focus on the here and now.

please stay well and keep posting or at least reading the threads.
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,835
I think the advice given many years ago when we were active fit and well.
"Live everyday as if it is your last and plan as if you will live forever"
Really applies, so make a few plans but enjoy every moment.
There are many kinds of dementia so every case is different.
Stages do not really mean much, everyone is different, the environment is different, the relationship is different, age has an impact too.
You will read of many situations on here, not all apply to everyone.
You will get support.
In planning ahead I tried to simplify where I could. Less chores = more quality time!
Well that's my excuse!
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
196
Hi @Umbrellal and welcome. I would certainly get a POA in place, and read as much as you can about the paths of the disease. Talk to family about how they might help. It’s the behavioural changes that surprised me the most. I hope you have a good family network.
 

jaymor

Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
13,117
England
Hi and welcome from me @Umbrellal

My husband passed away 11 years after diagnosis though, like many on the forum, there were signs there two or three years before.

He was pretty stable for 4 years and managed to continue to drive and work. He was diagnosed at 62 years old.

We got all the legal stuff out of the way and then got on with living, making sure we had as many breaks as we could. Memories to have later on. He went into a nursing home 7 years post diagnosis.,
 

Denjob

New member
Jul 6, 2020
1
I feel so lucky. My husband has been diagnosed with Alzheimers about 6 weeks ago. He hasnt changed at all yet. I'm delighted and hoping it will take a long time to really show I cant think of better way to say it. Is it same for everybody? Or does it get bad all of a sudden.?