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Husband in nursing home


Registered User
Mar 26, 2020
My husband has been in a nursing home for nearly 3 months before he went in he could walk after he had been in there a couple of days later he got cellulitus on his legs and his legs and ankles are very swollen i really want him out of the nursing home as he has detiorated since being there .His mobility has got really bad now as he can hardly walk i worry about him all the time and as i cant visit down to the lockdown its made me ever so anxious i miss him terrible and im sure if i can get him home he would get a little better.He has vascular dementia and alzheimers .Anybody in my situation cant see why he has got so bad in such a few months.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
I`m really sorry @pumpkin31 but I`m almost sure the hospital wouldn`t be keeping your husband in if they thought he was well enough to go home. There is too big a shortage of beds to keep him in unnecessarily.

I understand you feeling he would be better at home with you. So many of us have felt this way at times. It`s easy to think like this when we are rested and really miss the people we have been caring for.

The sad thing is whatever deterioration your husband has experienced is unlikely to benefit from returning home. Don`t you think it might be too big a chance to take?

He must have been admitted to hospital in the first place for a very good reason. Missing him and returning to full time caring are two different things.

I`m glad you have found Talking Point. There are many of us who understand completely how you are feeling . Sadly non of us can make your husband better.

Please keep posting and take the support and advice I`m sure you will get here.


Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
Hi @pumpkin31, welcome to the forum. I'm very sorry to hear about your situation, it must be absolutely soul-destroying not to be able to visit your husband. Do you have any communication with him (e.g. phone, skype, sending him a letter etc.)?

When my Dad went into residential care after 15 years of home care his mobility deteriorated, but it was already on a downward curve (hence his admission) and his dementia became much worse too, again already on a downward curve, which was why he had gone into care. My Mum really struggled as she wanted him home after caring for him for many years but his needs were too high, it had actually made her quite poorly too which she could not see herself (there was no way she could have cared for him at home any more). I don't know what the circumstances were that resulted in your husband needing residential care but I'm guessing the situation became unmanageable for you as his condition deteriorated (which is natural). It may be that his condition is progressing and he would be in the same situation if he was still at home.

However, if you are concerned about your Husband's healthcare in the Nursing Home then perhaps speak to the GP to get her/his perspective? Perhaps speak to the Social Work Team (assuming your husband has been placed in the Nursing home) and tell them of your concerns to.

I wish you all the best. Keep posting, I'm sure the good folk on the forum will do our best to help you in any little way we can.