I completely understand your relief at now having a diagnosis after years of frustration. When my husband was diagnosed with early onset, as strange as it sounds, it was as if a huge weight had been lifted off both of us.
I think it is fair to say that at any point of diagnosis, the person with dementia has had symptoms which have not been acted on for several years.
It is perhaps picked up quicker in older people as GPs are more geared towards thinking of dementia as a possible scenario in the elderly as opposed to someone of younger years presenting to them with the same symptoms (though I'd like to think things have started to shift in recent years and that there is wider understanding now that this is not an age related disease!)
It is also fair to say that we can all be wise with hindsight.
For instance, my husband began to change from being a sharp-minded, quick-witted individual in his 50s. It was not an overnight change and something I now only recognise as an early warning sign because I can now look back with a lot more knowledge than I had four years ago.
In the early years we used to joke about it and call it 'grumpy old man syndrome' as he grew increasingly more impatient of other people and their faults instead of the laid-back 'accept everyone as they are' attitude he'd always had.
In his mid 50s he was made redundant. He had been made redundant several times in his life and he always walked straight back into work so we were not worried. This time though it was different.
During three years of being unable to find work and knowing that my husband was not depressed, I tried umpteen ways to find out what the cause of his forgetfulness was.
When someone is not working it is easy for them to lose track of what day of the week it is so that particular symptom didn't flag things up with me.
When he kept asking me to repeat things I sent him off for a hearing test (with hindsight I now know this was a strategy he had developed in order to play for extra time while he formed a response).
I upped his intake of blueberries having read the were good for the brain and I got him tested for vitamin D deficiency believing that his years of staying out of the sun (due to another medical condition) had made his levels drop too low and his cognition was affected as a result.
These are just some of the things I did in order to find a reason or make excuses for what was going on.
In short, dementia was not on our radar, not until late 2011 when there was a spate of adverts about it on tv.
In January 2012 we asked the GP to refer him for assessment. The GP did so, but said things were more likely to be due to depression, anxiety and loss of confidence through being out of work, even though we were quite clear to him that this was not the case. In the May of that year my husband was started on the medication for dementia.
We were told we had caught it very early, but looking back there are so many times, not gone into here, where I overlooked signs, which had I known then what I know now, would have led to a much earlier diagnosis.
So please do not blame your husband for maybe delaying diagnosis in some way by looking for other reasons to explain what was hapening, it really isn't as straightforward as it seems, especially where early onset dementia is concerned
You are clearly a close, loving and supportive couple and that is something fantastic. Now that the diagnosis is in place, once you are through the initial shock, you will find so much pressure has been removed because neither of you need to cover-up things or frantically look for causes any more. More importantly, it opens doors to get the support both of you need.
Talking Point has provided the best support of them all as far as I am concerned - and I am sure you will find it so yourself
