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Husband age 49 just diagnosed

Angel 4

New member
Jan 27, 2022
7
0
Sarakb and angel4 I wonder if we could catch up or chat together. I’m not sure of best way to do it. I tried to send a private message to you both but can only send to one at a time. Any ideas?
Hello, sorry I’ve only just seen this message. I would really like that but I’m not sure how to do that in here either? Is really like to catch up x
 

Sarahkb

Registered User
Apr 3, 2022
15
0
I’m feeling overwhelmed with decisions today that I know I need to make but feel so hard. We have been offered respite as the children are so affected at home snd I desperately need time with them and a calm family home for a while but i am struggling to accept it I feel so sad and can’t stand the thought of this actually happening even though I spend a lot of time totally fed up with him and his difficult behaviours. I feel overwhelmed with grief.
Also, I want the children to have a short break, 2 nights, by the sea before they go back to school and the only way for this to be really relaxed for them is to take them by myself. But I just can’t bring myself to book the accommodation. It feels so devastating. Like the end of family life snd how holidays should be for us, can’t cope seeing families enjoying themselves while my childrens daddy is at home.
Struggling accepting the reality of everything I think. Have been in denial to avoid all the pain.
Thank you for letting me get all this out.
 

update2020

Registered User
Jan 2, 2020
275
0
I’m feeling overwhelmed with decisions today that I know I need to make but feel so hard. We have been offered respite as the children are so affected at home snd I desperately need time with them and a calm family home for a while but i am struggling to accept it I feel so sad and can’t stand the thought of this actually happening even though I spend a lot of time totally fed up with him and his difficult behaviours. I feel overwhelmed with grief.
Also, I want the children to have a short break, 2 nights, by the sea before they go back to school and the only way for this to be really relaxed for them is to take them by myself. But I just can’t bring myself to book the accommodation. It feels so devastating. Like the end of family life snd how holidays should be for us, can’t cope seeing families enjoying themselves while my childrens daddy is at home.
Struggling accepting the reality of everything I think. Have been in denial to avoid all the pain.
Thank you for letting me get all this out.
I’m glad that you feel able to come on here and share. You are getting help, which is fantastic, but the feelings are so hard, especially where children are concerned and you are the one trying to keep everyone happy and do the best for them all. You are a remarkable person and I think you and your children deserve that short break. . ❤️❤️❤️
 

Sarahkb

Registered User
Apr 3, 2022
15
0
Thank you. Don’t feel like that. Feel like I’m not meetings anyones needs im so overwhelmed with grief, stressed so many things, constantly shouting. Just don’t want to accept this is really happening x
 

update2020

Registered User
Jan 2, 2020
275
0
Thank you. Don’t feel like that. Feel like I’m not meetings anyones needs im so overwhelmed with grief, stressed so many things, constantly shouting. Just don’t want to accept this is really happening x
Have you thought about getting counselling for yourself? I did twice and it really helped. xxx

I don’t think it helped me accept it exactly but it did help me to think that I was doing the best that I could and making reasonable decisions in an unreasonable situation (literally). It’s not a quick fix. I still have bad days. But it definitely helped.

I hope that you do take that break with the children. The other thing I had to do was take a break for myself. It was incredibly hard to organise but even if it was just an hour doing something for me occasionally it was so important. Can your children stay with other relatives occasionally to give you a break?

I really felt that I let my children down. There were mishaps along the way. But I can say now that they have both come through it well and live normal, happy lives.
 
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update2020

Registered User
Jan 2, 2020
275
0
Goodbye @Sarahkb . I have been so impressed by your courage and resilience. And I do empathise with your experience. I really wish you and your children strength and love in the future. I’ve decided to stop posting here as I no longer feel that it is good for me. If you want to stay in touch privately then I’d be happy to do that via direct messages but that is entirely up to you. Good luck and god speed. xxx