I came to the forum feeling so low about having yet another argument with my siblings about the situation we are in. It hurts a lot that I feel that no one gets it. I feel like I want to cut them out of the situation completely and reading previous comments it seems a decent coping strategy..... To save my own sanity, so I can carry on the care I am giving. A few of my friends understand. Some professionals understand. My family don’t. I am so hurting at the moment watching my Dad’s rapidly declining health. Watching my my mum struggling daily. Supporting both my parents on a daily basis. I am exhausted, mentally emotionally and physically. Earlier this week I had an appointment with my 10 yo daughter. So I wasn’t available for mum. ( my parents are in an attached annexe). So my mum rang my sister crying about how dad had been shouting and saying that mum was arguing with him all night when she was asleep, apart from helping him to the toilet. My sister sent a long message to me after the call , of places for me to call and get help. How we couldn’t go on like this. All the contacts I had previously called anyway and found dead ends. I cried so much. I felt so alone and tired. Her giving me another job ..why couldn’t she do it herself? Apparently I knew more, I live here. Sad thing was this appointment waiting room,while my daughter had a test, was actually some quiet time for me. I wanted to sort my muddled head out. I had bought a list. How to plan a normal Christmas, balancing finances, a to do list, and things my parents still need, a few bits of maintenance etc. I ended up with her texting me, telling me how to do it better. I am not precious and would have been quite happy for her to have made some calls, or she could visit, it’s 10 min in the car . Coming back to how to explain it, I was fortunate my dad signed a letter I can talk to his g p. All the time I was saying he was making up stories no one listened. When I started using language like he has false memories and confabulation I started to be heard. It was only once I had a good amount of research to backup what I was seeing was I taken seriously. It took a long time. Now dad has refused a diagnosis as he thinks he is fine so we are still finding it hard. however, It is now recognised within the local surgery and I am finding that as I build a relationship with his dr I am feeling more understood. However, this has been a very lengthy process and has taken most of my year. once I found the professionals to be in agreement on dads condition I found that family did shift and I had some help with the accommodation I created for my parents over the summer. Help from family is very much on their terms, if they are away or doing something else they can’t help. I never get to a place of doing something else because I am either too busy with all the appointments my parents have or supporting whatever happens that day, getting a meal, listening to mum cry, walking her dog, prompting, reminding, medications etc. Or just... Having far fetched conversations with dad and finding imaginative ways to distract. Trying not to get frustrated when dad recognises everyone we see on a car journey. Some days that’s harder than others. Sometimes I laugh and say funny old world. Sometimes I want to swear and shout and say it’s nonsense. people say what do you do for yourself. I am too tired to do anything. It’s not that my family don’t help. They pop in once a month, made a few frozen dinners, or have mum and dad to dinner occasionally. They think that they are helping a lot but it’s a drop in the ocean. How do I say that without sounding ungrateful? My siblings are both having other problems in their lives. I understand that, but I have other problems as well and still have sole responsibilities for mum and dad. Making all the decisions and having very emotionally difficult conversations. This is an exhausting situation. I feel honoured to share this part of my dads life with him and support him, I feel sad my sisters don’t have that. They don’t want it though, they can’t won’t don’t face it . Hard as that is for me to accept I have to walk away and get on with it. However much I want them to be involved. I can’t make them understand and they don’t understand that they are so far away from the reality of the situation we are living in, and I don’t have anymore energy Or time to dedicate to enlightening them. It’s all making me sad as I don’t want to create a rift in the family but at the moment bridge building isn’t on my to do list, as the bridge doesn’t lead anywhere. I have ranted again...apologies.