Hunt the faeces

SkiTTish

Registered User
Sep 13, 2008
104
0
Hi all
Im new here ,found this forum through desperation ,never knew you all were here
I am a carer for my mum with alzhiemers ,have been for a few years ( no idea how long ,my memory has gone to pot to ,is it herditary ,im only blooming 30+ ?!? :( )
My mum still lives in her own home and we ( myself ,hubby and 2 children ) have moved to a house a few doors away to enable me to care for her.

I wondered if a problem were having is common and if anyone could please offer any advice ?

Whilst mum isnt 'physically' incontinent ,she will go to the loo in strange places or hide faeces in strange places

Mum is only left for a few hours out of every 24 for me to come home and get some sleep too,but every morning I walk in to the awfull smell and have to find where it is .Someimes its obvious ,sometimes well hidden and spend the next couple of hours cleaning it up and everywhere its been trodden ,smeared .
We are thinking maybe she cannot find the loo so are thinking of having an extra one installed downstairs to see if this will help?!

Most other 'issues' mum has had have been phases and brief lived ( hiding rubbish bags in nieghbours gardens ,wandering in the night ect ) will this be a phase? (plllleaseeee be a phase )

Everyone is telling me its time for mum to go into a home but I just dont feel its right for mum yet.and because of my decision to still care for mum ( against peoples wishes ) I feel I have been deserted by my siblings and left to 'get on with it then ' with no emotional or pratical support (although they are helpful with finanical help ect )Mum went into respite for a couple of weeks whilst we went on a family holiday and it really didnt go well and took weeks to get her 'back to normal ' Even though mum has got quite bad ,her personality is still there and her sense of humour ( whats the cliche about that being the last thing to go ? ) I really feel I want to continue to care for mum for as long as this is the case

Thanks
ps ,sorry for rambling on ,this post became much longer and more 'waffle' than I hoped ,think it was just a relief to ofload :eek:
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
0
london
Most other 'issues' mum has had have been phases and brief lived ( hiding rubbish bags in nieghbours gardens ,wandering in the night ect ) will this be a phase? (plllleaseeee be a phase )

All I know is when my mother was at that stage, also phooing in odd places, wondering the street . The Only thing that made it manageable was getting mum on Last stages of AZ medication Mum moving in with me.

Every one different, so if your mother not in danger of wondering outside into the street in the middle of the night like my mother use to, because I was not around so she go looking for me even thought I was living with mum at the time, went out to a night club, Not realizing that mum would do that even thought she was living with me . So if you get use to having to clean up that mess your mother make when you go around in the morning

You mother could live at home in her own home with your support & social services support net work
 
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suzanne

Registered User
Jul 25, 2006
189
0
wiltshire
looking for little gifts

Greetings,although my mother is not hiding little gifts, I recall looking after a lady who did just that, it was back in the 70's and hygiene products had not been refined so everything was wrapped in cotton wool:eek:We just got into a routine of supervised toileting[difficult if not there full time I know] and daily frisking for unwanted parcels, she also used to clean her false teeth in the toilet bowl under the flush-- her logic stated that it was clean running water:D she was right and we could never get her to understand the water was clean the toilet was not. Not much help to you but my thoughts are with you,some one on this site will have a way of helping and we are here to support each other through all the trials that come our way.Suzy
 

SkiTTish

Registered User
Sep 13, 2008
104
0
thanks :)
Yes ideally mum would live with us or vice versa but ,our house is a tiny 2 bd terrace (only house available nearby )and although mums house could be extended , hubby has said he could not cope and I repsect his decision
We have however moved a few doors away and she is only left after she has gone to sleep and I try to be there as she wakes ( difficult with the kids sometimes tho )
But you can bet your bottom (scuse the pun) dollar she saves it for when she is alone ,no matter how many times we try before hand :rolleyes:

The wandering at night ( she only actualy got out twice before I had to take action ),only lasted a week or so ..Luckily!! as I just didnt sleep ,had to spend nights there and to-in and fro-ing checking on the kids too

Oh yes the fresh water from the loo is also ideal for hand washing apparently ....even though the sink is next to it ;)
 
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jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,446
0
Hi and welcome to Talking Point.

Something that occurs to me - could she be constipated? Although it isn't something I have had personal experience of, a few posters have mentioned a problem that is sometimes described as "manual evacuation" I believe. Hopefully the name is evocative enough because I'd rather not go into the nitty gritty details. Anyway, that seems to be more common when constipation is a problem. Also constipation (and any infection) can cause an increase in confusion so you might want to have that checked.
 

SkiTTish

Registered User
Sep 13, 2008
104
0
Jennifer ,thank you !
Just done a search o nthe forum on that subject and you could really be onto something ,it all sounded very familiar ! :)
Will look into getting her some laxatives then maybe a daily dose of lactulose or something to keep ontop of things?
 

gigi

Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
7,788
0
68
East Midlands
Hello SkiTTish...

Hello..another welcome to TP...

Jennifer has a valid point about constipation...which is often overlooked.

I wanted to add that it's ok to get it sorted for the now...but often in the elderly and those suffering with dementia...lack of fluid can contribute to constipation..along with lack of mobility, reduced appetite.

It is so important to encourage fluids...moreso if mum commences on laxatives...

Love gigi xx
 

SkiTTish

Registered User
Sep 13, 2008
104
0
thanks Gigi ,getting mum to drink enough is a real issue and I will defo keep an eye on that :)
Excersise not an issue tho ,she can run rings around me :eek::D
 
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Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
0
london
Have you sorted out any support for yourself from social services to help you help your mother live independently , as I know how stress full if can became on you caring for your own family while trying to care for your mother .

We are thinking maybe she cannot find the loo so are thinking of having an extra one installed downstairs to see if this will help?!

You can get the occupational therapist out & do an assessment on your mother mobility , even if her walking good , but still may find it hard getting around the house . They can do the adaption & install a toilet downstairs ( If you are living in the UK ?) there a grant they can apply for even if your mother own her own home

My mother got into a habit of doing it in a bucket rather then going upstairs to do toilet

It could be constipation Or your mother at the stage that she finding it hard to remember how to wipe herself down in the right way .
 
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SkiTTish

Registered User
Sep 13, 2008
104
0
Thanks Margarita
Yes ..well kind of ...
Mum has a social worker for all the good she is tbh :rolleyes:
she is never available and still hasnt rang me back to offer advice when I rang her last week because mum wastaken into hospital and they would only let me in during visiting hours but were not doing her 'personal care' when I wasnt allowed in !! :mad:
We have HICA carers go morning and night to fill in half an hour whilst I get the kids off to school and ready for bed but this can be really hit and miss as it depends who comes ( some of them may aswell not bother! )

Good idea about the O/T ,thanks I didnt htink of that ,mum was refered to one for severe althritis (needing regular steroid injections ) the weird thing is as the AD worsened ,the pain lessenend and she now has no physical probs atall ,how weird is that ? But will deffinatly ask if they can asist now ,thank you :)
 

heartbroken

Registered User
Feb 17, 2008
747
0
derbyshire
Welcome to tp
we used to play hunt the filled pad.
You have just reminded me of the time that the nurse came to asses Edna for pads
dad took her up stairs to show how he had got the bed while in the bedroom he opened the cupboard door and out fell a filled pad LOL
say no more
 

SkiTTish

Registered User
Sep 13, 2008
104
0
lol ( this forum really needs a laughing smiley dont ya think ? )
If you dont laugh ,you go potty ;) :D
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
0
london
Mum has a social worker for all the good she is tbh

I know what you mean . What prominent in my Memory in trying to get all the survives up ruining from social service is how long drawn out it all gets

As in me ringing them all the time when they don't get back to me, In me ringing OT after social worker did the referral to OT, you really got to keep on the ball with them , ringing them back.
Finding out where things stand .

mum was refered to one for severe althritis (needing regular steroid injections ) the weird thing is as the AD worsened ,the pain lessenend and she now has no physical probs atall

That a Coincident, even thought my mother did not need steroid injections for her arthritis , just pain killers . Mum use to complain about the pain all the time.

As it all progessed my mother stop complaining about the pains in her legs , can still walk with Zimmer frame & on good day walk without it in the house . I wonder if its down to what I read a lot on TP .

That they can not express anymore in where the pain is, Or they lose the feeling of Knowing where the pain is coming from
 

Lynne

Registered User
Jun 3, 2005
3,433
0
Suffolk,England
lol
If you dont laugh ,you go potty ;) :D

:D Har-de-har-har ;)

Re. putting in an extra toilet, don't waste your money (in my opinion).
If she can't remember the one she's been using for umpty years (if that's the problem), then what makes you think she's going to remember a new one :confused:.
With my Mum, she could never learn anything new, whether important or otherwise.
Short-term memory is usually the first to go, 20 years ago or more is still there, clear as a bell.
I'm sorry I don't have a positive suggestion to go with that rather negative thought, I really am.

Hang onto that sense of humour :D

Best wishes
 

SkiTTish

Registered User
Sep 13, 2008
104
0
Mum seems quite different to other people experience of AD
she can still ,with repetition pick up new habits ,which can proof either useful or can be a nightmare ( dpending on the habit and situation ;) )

ISnt tat strange about the pain ? mum walks far better now thean she ever did ( well until recently ,she has a prob with her foot at the mo )Never shows any sign of pain and would be happy to walk all day .Maybe thats one good thing aobut the disease? she seems to have forgoton what pain is ?
 

Morag Wild

Registered User
Mar 3, 2008
8
0
Snap

Hi,
I have had exactly the same problem with my mother this weekend. My mum lives alone in Rothesay, Isle of Bute, Scotland. She gets wonderfull care from Social Services. This weekend I had a phone call from the warden at her sheltered housing to say that they have had to call for two carers as she had managed to spread everything round the bathroom and has developed some quite bazaar habits. They had to bath her and clean all round the flat mostly in the bathroom. I don't know what the next stage is now!! Speaking to mum's dementia nurse this morning has helped me. She is saying that it could be that mum was constipated and just had a morning of emptying (sorry don't know how to put it). I think mum no longer knows how to go to the toilet properly, which worries me. I can't help thinking that we are on the road to residential care, although her dementia nurse said there are lots of other options before that 'thank God'.

It does help me to know that someone else is experiencing the same problem. I will let you know how the next few weeks go. They have also had to take her home from the Day Centre as she is getting violent. If my mum knew she was acting like this, I honestly think she would kill herself.
 

sue38

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
10,849
0
53
Wigan, Lancs
Maybe thats one good thing aobut the disease? she seems to have forgoton what pain is ?

My Dad has forgotten a few 'bad' things; the fact that he detested the taste of chicken - he now eats it quite happily if we tell him it's pork ;), but more bizarrely his body seems to have forgotten that he is allergic to caffeine.

Many years ago he developed what they termed a chemical intolerance to caffeine so stopped drinking tea and coffee. He then became so sensitive that the smell of coffee, or just using the same spoon to stir his health food drink would bring on flu like symptoms and he would be in bed for 24 hours.

We always make sure there is a note on his records, but when I picked him up from A&E on Friday there was an empty paper cup with what suspiciously like the remains of tea or coffee. I asked the staff if by any chance they had given him a cup of tea? Oh yes, of course, they beamed... but fingers crossed, no ill effects. How weird is that?
 

sad nell

Registered User
Mar 21, 2008
3,190
0
bradford west yorkshire
illusive pads

hi I also have had to play hunt the missing pad, searched for hours , but when i came to load dishwasher there it was under a plate. Have you tried tena slip in pads which are held in place by a light lacy pair of briefs these work better than the typical nappy type as they can just be slipped down if mum can still use the lo, but are there to stop accidents and Trev finds these much more acceptable, you can get these supplied after having a meeting with continence nurse who i have found very helpful. Happy searching Pam
 

sad nell

Registered User
Mar 21, 2008
3,190
0
bradford west yorkshire
coloured toilet door

forgot to mention have you thought of painting toilet door a bright red or yellow so it stands out from other doors this seems to work for some dementia sufferers, and think youare doing a remarkable job to give you mum so much of your time, you must have a very understanding husband. hope it helps pam
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
0
london
They have also had to take her home from the Day Center as she is getting violent

Be careful with this stage your mother may be going though with being sent home from day centre , because the next thing you know they are labelling her Violent , when really she could be in a stage that she can't express her emotion in a social excepted way .

She could have a urine infection, seeing that she also been constipated, so they could be some underlying physical problems going on that is bothering her that she can't express herself so its coming out Violently .

and what is the definition of violent to someone at that day center, what behavior was it that they label it Violent that is what I would be asking them ............. What type of day centre is it ?

It’s Just that they were telling me the same about my mother at day centre , telling me that my mother needed to be on Ant psychotic drugs, because she was verbally abusive

So I went to the Doctor, who refer mum to a specialist who does the mental health check, also doctor check her over physical.

It was all due down to changes in mum dementia, mum not being able to express her discomfort in something that was bothering her.

When SW & day centre got this report back from the specialist, they let mum keep going to day centre, she fine now, still moody but did, do not need to be medicated to control her behavior .

So my advice is talk to dementia nurse or doctor gets your mother check over physically, mental.
 
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