Hello
@Life291244
I answered your other post on a different thread, but I had not realised that your mum was at this stage. Im assuming that no-one told you she was at end of life. It would have saved you a lot of heart-ache if you had known, I think. Hospitals are not the best places for people with dementia and it is a much nicer environment in a care home to pass away.
Both my MIL and my mum died from dementia in a care home and both were beautifully looked after and their passing was peaceful. I was there on both occasions. When someone dies from dementia what happens is just as you described - their bodies shut down over several weeks and they stop eating and drinking and eventually they become unresponsive. The main thing at this point is to make sure that they are given pain-killers and other medication to keep them comfortable, so that they can pass away peacefully. The medication is given is either skin patches, injections or a syringe driver. A syringe driver is a little box containing the medication which is delivered slowly (drop by drop) by a little needle that goes under the skin to make sure that pain is kept under control.
This stage can last anything from a few hours to several days, so it may be that by the time you read this your mum has already passed. If she hasnt, though, then there are some things that you can do. The carers can give you little sponges or brushes to moisten her mouth and you can put salve on her dry lips. You can also put moisturiser on her skin to make her more comfortable. Although she is unresponsive hearing is the last thing to go, so now is the time to say the important things - I love you, thank you, Im sorry and (if appropriate) I forgive you. Talk to her and play her favourite music
This is a tough time waiting in limboland
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