How/when to manage finances of someone with dementia

[electric_cara]

Hello

My mum has dementia which is gradually getting worse. She can still shop and pay for things but she occasionally forgets her pin number and struggles to pay a bill if it's one she hasn't done before (e.g. a parking fine). When should I start taking on responsibility for her finances? It's tricky because she still wants to be in control and I don't want her to feel like I'm taking over. (I'm also pretty useless with financial stuff myself). Maybe can get a finance admin person to help. Has anyone ever done this? Also- how does it work when I do eventually take on managing finances, do I give her the equivalent of pocket money every week? It all seems so strange... I'm only 30 and feels odd managing my mum in this way ..
Thanks for any advice!

 

[Cat27]

Welcome to DTP @electric_cara
Do you have Power of Attorney in place yet?

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @electric_cara, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney, managing finances etc., if any of that hasn't already been done. There is also a dementia guide booklet that you may find useful

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.

 

[Banjomansmate]

Once Lasting Power of Attorney for Finance and Property has been registered you can be as hands on/off as you wish, just keeping an eye on things until it becomes clear that you need to take over completely. It is no different from running your own banking affairs.
Once it was clear that The Banjoman needed assistance with completing benefits applications I sent the financial LPA to the relevant Govt. Departments and asked for all future paperwork to come to me. He received his Bank statements until he started losing them so they are now sent to me. etc. etc. He kept and used his Debit Card until he went into hospital last December and from there into residential care. If he was able to be taken out I would let him have it back. I got my own Debit Card to enable me to purchase items for him from his account and set up telephone banking to allow me to authorise other payments when necessary.
I have only increased my involvement as needed.

 

[canary]

In order to manage someone with dementias finances you have to have either a POA or CoP deputyship.
If your mum hasnt done POA, get it done now before she loses capacity. You dont have to use a solicitor - you can download the forms and get it done yourself.

Once the POA has been registered with the Office of Public Guardians you are good to go. To start with you may not have to do too much, but gradually you will have to take over all the finances as it becomes more and more confusing for them